Silverana on her way to gold

[silverana]

Hey guys,

I decided to start this journal because I dont seem to be able to lose weight on my own.
I often tried to write a food diary to keep my eating under control. In the evening I wrote down what I can eat the next day, how much cals and stuff. But I never succeeded! I always cheated on myself and ate more!
I know its probably my own fault that I am that weak, but I hope that with that journal and you guys in my back Ill have a bad conscience every time I think about over-eating. And this way Ill be able to find my way back on track again.

It would be nice if somebody has some encouraging words for me.

Here are my stats:
Height: 147cm (4'10'' I think)
weight: 46 kg (103 lbs)
Id liked to have my old weight of 36kg again!!! Thats now two years ago, but I want to go back to that time!!

[silverana]

Today I finally did well again.
Restricted to 500 cals. Its a while ago that I managed that.
At the gym I burned 200 cals.

Tomorrow I got school until three. As soon as I am home I will go to the gym again, so I am not tempted to eat.

[LadyBird]

Hey, welcome! Keeping a journal on here is so helpful, it has been for me at least. The support is great, and it keeps you on track. I hope it helps you on the way to your goals as well.

[sailorv]

Good luck to you. I know when I first came here, it was easy to lose the weight, because of the support. And it still is!
Stay Strong

[silverana]

Okay, today I ate 600 cals, but I burned 400 in the gym.
And the last time I ate was 16:30pm.

Actually I wanted to eat less, but I nearly fainted at school. And so I ate. I think that this dizziness will happen again if I eat so less. To avoid a break-out I could use some glucose, one piece shouldnt have more than 50 cals. So that way I could still stay under 500.

Since I started this journal Im really more on track than before. Thanks for your replies, guys! I hope I will make as much progress as you did in the next time.
Tomorrow I try to keep up the good work as hard as I can!

[silverana]

Damn, again I had 600 cals.
I cant say how much I burned at the gym because I only had a course today. But 200 should at least be gone.

I think tomorrow I can do less. Im already pretty ill today, can hardly speak. So at the weekend Ill stay in my bed most of the time. The rest Ill spend at the gym, no matter how worse I feel. These fat has to go away.

[silverana]

Today I got it for the first time to burn more cals in the gym than I ate!!
I burned 523 and had 470. The difference isnt that big, but a beginning.

I said Ill go to the gym no matter how worse I feel. Well, I hope I can still stick to that tomorrow. At the moment I feel like my head is going to explode.

[LadyBird]

Sorry you're feeling sick. But that's so great that you worked out more than you ate! That's a sure fire way to get rid of those pounds. Hope you feel better!

[sailorv]

Congrats on burning more than you ate! It's a wonderful feeling.
Good luck with the gym tomorrow, stay strong and get well soon

[silverana]

I glad to say that I feel a lot better! All the aches are gone!
I just still got a cold, though, and got difficulties with breathing. But I dont mind that.

Restricting went well, gym not so, because the machine that burns the most cals was occupied all the time! But tomorrow I will make it up. Im only going to exercise my condition then. The other days I also did muscles.

It maybe sounds stupid but yesterday was the first after a long time that I felt really hungry again. My stomach was grumbling and it hurt when I moved my waist. Apart from the pain it was a wonderful feeling! I can see that I lose weight, but I wont weigh myself before thursday. I want to see a real result.

Its 7pm now, and I need to control myself not to binge. I just heard that a boy that worked in my gym, who is absolutely hot and cute,has a girlfriend. When I went to the gym I always took times in which I know that he will be there. And now this was all for nothing.
Well, that guy doesnt know what he misses! But I know what I will do to my body when I eat right now, so keep away from the cupboards!

[nickytml]

just read ur journal and u are doin great! u are really on track and very focused.. great calorie intakes, and awesome job at the gym. dont worry about that boy lol or if u want to think about him than just go to the gym to see him even more and get hotter for him, than he will realllly be missing out

good luck tonite with tryin to avoid those cupboards, u can do it

[silverana]

I couldnt resist the cupboards completely. I ended up eating seven pieces of chocolate and when my sister came home and ate strawberries I took some of these too.

Anyway, today I did fine again I think. I went to school by bike, which takes 20 minutes. At the gym I burn 25cals in 5 min. I went the route 4times, because I had freetime in between and spend that at home (and I wanted to burn cals )! So summed up this would make 400cals. But I would rather say that it were between 200 and 300, because I maybe dont drive with the same speed.
At the gym I burned 520cals. My intake I didnt really count, but it must be around 500-600. I should have burned a lot more that I ate today, but somehow I dont notice anything. The others days I could see how my stomach became flatter. Im scared to weigh myself on thursday now, so maybe I do it on friday.

Friday also the boy will be at the gym. At 7pm I got my course I join every week, but I think Ill already go earlier to do muscles and condition. I dont mind him thinking that Im mayb obsessed with sport, somehow I want him to notice that something is wrong with me. Its not that I want his attention, its rather that I want to hurt him through hurting myself...you know what I mean? Like, look, Im killing myself but you got your girlfriend so you cant be there for me. Its some feeling like that.

I hope that when I wake up tomorrow Ill see some more results in the mirror...

[nickytml]

u got exercise in and ur calories are low for the day.. if u keep this up u will for sure see progress. if ur not ready to weigh in on thursday than wait till friday when ur ready

[silverana]

Today I didnt do so well. Probably had about 700 cals.
I went to school by bike again, makes one hour. But at the gym I only did muscles. I got a lot of homework to do this week and write an exam on friday. So there wasnt much time for exercising.

But this school stuff Ill finish today evening. Tomorrow I got a long day of school, that keeps me away from eating. At the gym Ill do a "real" work out again, muscles and condition. I try to keep my cals under 500, my dream would be to do 300. Its easy to burn them on the machines, if I can stay under 300, I should have a negative cals intake again.

Lets hope that I can do it!

[nickytml]

ur doin just fine hun, ur metabolism still gets a boost from any kind of exercise so i really wouldnt worry too much at all. u are eating very few calories and still gettin exercise be proud of urself