Carpe Diem

[Tina]

Going to bed....hungry! Isn't that the best feeling in the world? The downside is that I always have trouble falling asleep when I'm empty..
Oh, well, it's worth it!
Concert with swedish band 'The Ark' tonight, they are amazing live!
The new love sent me txts earlier, he seems indifferent. Why does he contact me if he doesn't want me? I don't get it.

[Tina]

Back from work! It's been a good day. I had to eat at work, but I kept it under 200cals, so it's all good! Can't wait to be thin! Only gonna have water for the rest of the day.
Tomorrow is a national holiday in Norway, which means I get to stay home! Meeting two friends for coffee, maybe they want to eat, but I'm just gonna say that I had something at home. Ha ha!
It's sunny, and about 20 degrees C here today, so it's almost summer. I looooove spring, it gets me so motivated!!!!
The new love asked me if I wanted to come over after work and have dinner. But he is working till 6pm, and I always go home at 3pm, so I said no thanks...maybe some other time.
Just now I got a txt from an old boyfriend. It said he was thinking about me and maybe we could go for a beer sometime? Off course I said yes!! So now it's all up to him. We were high school sweethearts, and I haven't seen him in years.
5 days till the big party!!! I'm so excited! I just know I'm gonna make the 3 kgs before saturday!!!
I wish you all a skinny skinny day!!!

[Tina]

It's sunny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have the whole day ahead of me!!!!!
God, I love holidays, even if it's just one day...
So far so good: only water, and I'm not hungry. Can feel the skinny coming to get me!
Going out for coffee now.

[ThinMint06]

An old love? Hmmm now I'm curious!
Enjoy the sunshine, summer always makes me lose weight. Maybe it's because on clod days all I want to do is curl up and sleep and eat doritos. ICK!

[Tina]

I can't believe how well I'm doing! With an average of 400cals a day, I'm on my way! My jeans feel loose, and people are commenting on how good I look, I feel great!
It's all sunshine and spring, and tomorrow I have a date! With someone new, it's so exciting! I'm gonna weigh in before I go to work, I can't wait to see how much I've lost.

[Tina]

Back from the date.
He is soooo sweet. I can't believe how much I liked him. And I never like anybody! He is tall, dark and handsome, and he makes me feel small (that is just f-ing great!!!!). We had a couple of beers (bad) and no wonder: I felt a bit tipsy, 'cause I hadn't eaten all day. Then he persuaided me to have dinner with him and I just could't say no, but I only had half of a small meal, and it was a chicken salad, so... I still feel bad 'cause I was planning on fasting today (party tomorrow).
Oh well, a little drunk, I'll worry about it in the morning. Not going to eat anything before dinner tomorrow, and then I'll probably get out of eating much cause everybody'll be drinking and not paying attention.
I hope I'll feel great when I slip on my blue dress and get ready for the party.
I wish I didn't have that salad. It feels like a ton of bricks. Uhhhh.
I forgot to weigh in this morning (overslept), but now I'm scared to do it 'cause of the beer and the food. Maybe I'll wait, it's only gonna make me feel bad before the party. Maybe monday...we'll see.
60 kgs here I come!!!!

[Tina]

Last post before I get ready for the party.
I feel skinny today, thank god, or maybe I would haved stayed home tonight. My collarbones are especially visible today, maybe it's from dehydration from the alcohol yesterday, I don't know. Still, it's nice.
The date left his sunglasses in my purse last night, so now I know we're definitely gonna see eachother again! Ha ha
When I went to bed, the new boy called me (who, I guess, is no longer 'the new', I'll call him Blondie from now on ), and I answered. He wanted to come over and 'see' me (read: do me), I think he was a bit drunk, but I said no cause I needed my beautysleep. He got disappointed, but I mean, he needs to call me and ask me for a date, sober. Thats' the only way he's gonna see me from now on. End of story.
Gonna make some coffee now.
Have a nice, skinny day all of you beautiful anagirls!

[kuroneko]

Hi Tina, have just been reading your blog. Great to see you're making progress- you are amazingly strong- no way I could restrict to as low as 200 cal over a whole day! I eat quite a bit more but exercise a lot so manage to lose most weeks anyway. Good luck with the dating situation too!

[Tina]

The party was amazing!!!!
I danced and drank and flirted all night, I had so much fun! There were a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time. No one commented on my weight, though..I have lost 5kgs in a month! I don't get it.
I didn't eat much last night, but I drank like a sailor!!!! So a lot of calories, obviously. I'll make up for it today, no junk food like I used to when I've been drinking. Only coffee and water so far.
The date is coming over later to pick up his sunglasses. I'm NOT gonna have sex with him tonight, no matter how hot he is!!!!

[Tina]

Today has been really bad for me. I can't even bring myself to write it down. Sorry. I feel bad. Bloated. My stomach hurts from a ton of food.

The boy came over yesterday, and we didn't have sex, but we made out, and it was so nice! He is really sweet to me, and he seems into me. I don't know him all that well, but several of my friends do, so I can ask them about him.
Hope I get to see him again. I hope he calls me.
Tomorrow, I'll start over. Only fluids.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I WILL NOT LET THIS BEAT ME.

[Tina]

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH
I'm going crazy, I can tell that the date is online on Facebook, and he can tell -if he wants to- that I am too, and he doesn't IM me!!! WTF??
I feel like a ton of blob and that is what makes me so needy right now, I hate myself for being like this!!!! I need to go to bed and sleep on it. Tomorrow I start my new fast, and soon I'll reach my GW!!!!!
They'll all see this: I will be skinny.

[Tina]

It's been a pretty good day so far. I was planning on fasting, but I broke it when i got to work. I just have to have something when I work, or I get sick.
Half a banana (45 cal)
3 ricecakes (100 cal)
1 cappuccino (60 cal)
3 strawberries
1 filet salmon (300 cal)
So...no more food today.
I wish he would call me. He seemed so interested...

[Tina]

Another so-so day. Couldn't fast today either.
Tomato soup at work (300 cal)
Pea and corn mix at home (300 cal)
A lot of coffee and water

I guess it could be worse. Going jogging soon. I will think about my future skinny body while I work out.

Been IMing with the date all day, even at work. It's nice and exciting, I feel like I'm really into him but I know it is just my codependent personality wich is at work.
Thank god I have a party to go to this weekend, or else I would spend it obsessing about food and boys!

[Tina]

300 cal today (tomato soup)
Coffee, tea and water.
I feel great, calm, content.
Weekend's coming soon, hopefully he'll call me and we'll hook up.
I need to be close to someone, you guys. When you're single and live alone, the only skin contact you get is from your friends when they hug you, and your mom.... I want someone to touch me. I know it's stupid to have sex with him so soon, but I kind of really want to.. I know he wants me cause I could feel his humhum the last time we kissed!!
Anyway, going out with friends tonight, I WILL NOT DRINK ALCHOHOL!!! Just coffee. Ahhh it's so boring. I love red wine.

[Complex]

I've read through your journal, and it sounds like you are doing really well! Keep it up like this, and you'll be at you goal in no time!

I'm from norway too you know! Not very often that I see other norwegians in here.

And the thing you wrote about lying, and hiding your feelings all the time, that's exactly the way I feel. Sounds like something I could have written myself. I guess it's normal when you have an ED?