Ana Poems

[WANT2BTHIN4EVA]

I look in the mirror,
scream at my reflection
why is this so hard
i just want to reach perfection
im trapped in a body
which i dont think of as mine
but everyone else
think im doing so fine
pretty eyed girl
with smile so bright
but starving for thinness
is what my mind says is right



When I look in the mirror ...
all I want to see is someone pretty looking back at me.
losing weight seems to be the only key,
then when I look in the mirror I'll see someone pretty looking at me.
Losing friends,
driving them to their ends,
when I cry I just need a friend,
a friend who can hug me and give me a lending hand.
This is not worth it:
to be in a dark tunnel and to just sit.
eating is not the end of the world,
at least that is what I was told.
Sitting all alone, in my room being so cold,
seems to be the only thing that would have sold.
I want to be happy ... that's all ... is it that hard? ..
do I have to wait for happiness to be sold??



What brings a person to this state?
The tired and weary eyes,
that long to see the reflection of a different person,
while peering at the reflection in a pool.
The bony body,
tearing away at its own flesh.
Skipping meals,
and vomiting up what she has just consumed,
tired and lonely while the days pass by,
darker and darker as they become.
Till one day the body cannot go on,
and as she slips away you hold her tight
wanting to tell how beautiful she was in your eyes.
Feeling the rough skin go cold,
and you know that it's too late,
and the spirit has failed the body,
and the person could no longer live in the dark world
where people are judged by skinny versus fat
but that the person is in a better place.
What brings a person to this state?



Things aren't the way they were before,
I don't even recognize myself anymore'
The mirror lies,
You can see the pain and suffering deep in my eyes,
The hunger pain hurts
But starvation works.
Surviving on 500 calories a day
People tell me that my body is wasting away
I'm trying to be the thinnest one of all.
I don't want to die,
But my body feels SO DRY.
I feel so empty, and incomplete,
I don't know how I manage to stay on my feet.
Stupid calorie counter going off in my head,
And when I just don't want to deal with it, I go directly to bed.
Then I start to wonder...is it worth it?
Is trying to be the thinnest worth all of this?
The pain? The suffering?
Somebody please help me.
I'm trying to escape,
And it feels like I'm constantly being raped.
I'm an innocent victim...what did I do to deserve this?

[terezarsm]

This night was strange – I had a dream.
I sow Ana as she came to me.
I was afraid that she’ll be mad
Coz yesterday I ate so bad…
In fact, I was glad for that,
I thought I won I thought I end,
But as she came to me this way
I know I have to loose more weight!
She took my hand, I felt her bones,
Her nerves so death her skin so cold.
She looked at me and said gently
You can make it, this is entry.
Nobody will see you cheat,
Exercise, sport – do not eat.
You will become good and free
You will be so free as me.
She spread her wings made from the web
I slowly woke up from the bad.
Knowing there's no freedom for me,
It is folly, so bad destiny…
But today I have to starve
I have to loose just one more pound,
I know its stupid, but this way,
I want to find my wings to fly away.