Ouch, painful

[I Want Candy]

I was bad again today and it sort of hurts, quite literally, my tummy and my head. And maybe it's because I was raised CAtholic(i still haven't learned anything apparently) but I really feel like I've sinned even though I'd tell someone else no, of course it's not true, but I can't help the feeling. It's so very strong. I can't stop being so destructive and I'm so goddamned ugly.

Help.

[vicki]

I feel the exact same way sometimes. I am not catholic, but I am a christian and I am taught that my body is a temple and that I should treat it accordingly and that gluteny is a sinful addiction ....that I am putting food before God (making it my idol). But just like I believe in God and everything good ...I also believe in Satan and everything evil and that they are constantly at war and the battle ground is us. (hence, my confusion all the time)

****Please don't think I am a nut or preaching, this is just what gets me through*****

Anyway, I believe that GUILT is NOT from God and that He will NOT use it to make me obey Him. Instead, He lovingly corrects me and points me in the right direction.....it is up to me to listen or not. He is a God of order, not confusion....that is the devils m.o. When it comes to the guilt I believe that is the devil trying to make me feel confused, condemned, sorry for myself, and hate myself so that I will continue on the wrong path. The evil side wants us to fail.....it wants us to self loathe and feel defeated. (this applies to EVERY area of my life....it is a constant constant battle)

There is a BIG difference between guilt used for manipulation and conviction used for self improvement. It is a very fine line and sometimes difficult to see, but you can tell the difference if ask for God's help. It just helps me to know that the God I believe in is SO MUCH BIGGER than our evil ED's, but I need a reminder of that daily just to get through.

I just wanted to share and maybe that was confusing, but it's what I believe and if I hold tight to what is good maybe just maybe everything will turn out ok. ***hugs****** Vicki

[gonnamakeit76]

From an agnostic point over here: I don't think eating (over or none) is a sin and guilt is a "man made" conditioning statement...

You're being really hard on yourself, and the guilt is what's making you eat more and more.. .you have to turn that guilt into a new focus...

[I Want Candy]

Aw, thank ladies, you're very sweet. Once in a while the guilt-stick hits me, but I usually get over it--thanks bunches.

So you think guilt is making me over-eat? I didn't think it was so simple. I don't think it is. I never imagined myself so weak and stupid as to allow that to happen and I doubt that COE is caused by guilt and it's easy to just refocus. I must be a moron not to have seen it. Thats rather like saying a young woman is anorexic because she's lonely.

[littlekittentoes]

I hear you on the guilt thing. I spent most of my life as a comptetitive athlete, so my body was my ticket to fame and fortune (heh heh). Now it's like a ticket to the freak show.

Plus, I was a psych major at university, so I know that the internal locus of control (saying 'I control what I do and what happens in my life) is good for overcoming the helplessness and hopelessness of depression but there's that critical moment when you manage to swing from external to internal and you're still a little depressed so instead of thinking 'I can control my life' you think 'all the crap in my life is actually my fault'. It is so hard to get past that...

Sorry for the ramble...hope you're feeling much much better. HUGS!

[Comic Book Looks]

I know how you feel. I think it's instinctive that when you ("you" used in the general, indirect sense) feel guilty about overeating, you want to eat more. I don't know why that is. I've found that going outside afterwards makes me feel better, maybe it could work for you?

Just remember that you really can have control over alot of things about yourself, and that God loves you. We're rooting for you all the way!

[littlekittentoes]

Nah, I don't think it's as simple as guilt making a person overeat either.

I think, somehow, guilt is a built in thing in a lot of facets of our lives right from the time we're little, and it seems like it doesn't even really have to be specific .

Once we know what guilt feels like, it seems to be a common reaction to a lot of things, and I think it feeds (no pun intended) a lot of emotions too. It's just one big, annoying part of a much bigger picture

[Black89]

That's ok. I got so mad at my son this morning after I put him on the bus I ate four boxes of cereal. I only eat a lot when I get mad. Now I have to go to the store and buy my son some more cereal.