Fat Country, Thin Culture

[thebellydancer69]

My sister put this idea in my head about trying a master cleanse diet. One of her coworkers tried it for 10 days and lost 20lbs. I am so on it. I am going to get my grocery list completed tomorrow. If I leave tomorrow morning to pick up the stuff I can start tomorrow.

[thebellydancer69]

My dumbass just realized something. If I went on a fast like I normally do, I could lose 20lbs in 10 days. Why by some special ingredients for a diet that virtually is a fast and will make me lose the same amount of weight on my own. I will have to buy diet tea and dexatrim in order for this to work. I believe I can do this, so I will do it. I just need to make sure that I am getting on the bike everyday.

[thebellydancer69]

I am so confused...my weight won't move. I am really tired and I can't make it drop down unless I stop eating. I want to be smaller, but I can't to get it right. I want to be happy and alot of the issues I have tie into me being overweight. I just want to be happy.

[thebellydancer69]

It is hard for me to stay positive. I know I am not losing weight, but I gotta try what works. I made the stupid mistake of trying to eat fast food from BK because I was angry. Now my stomach has been upset all day. I think I have gastritis. Unfortunately, this means I will have to do the master cleanser so I am going to by ingredients tomorrow.

[thebellydancer69]

Well, I have the ingredients so all I have to do is put the shit together for the next 10 days (minimum). I am going to have to get on the bike for 2 hours a day. Hopefully, my sister won't have a jam packed itinerary so I can get on it for 2 hours a day.
I hope I can lose enough weight in 2 weeks bring in the new year with hope.

[thebellydancer69]

OK so yesterday I get off from work and decide to buy the ingredients for the Master Cleanser. I didn't know I was going to but it was suggested to me by sister because her co-worker lost 20 lbs and kept it off afterwards. I later saw it again on Oprah and Beyonce said she lost the same amount. Since my stomach is troubling me and the doctor can't find anything wrong with me, I decided to try it. I am supposed to do it for 10 days. [smilie=icon_eek.gif] I guess I can update at night on here. I don't bother get on the scale until I can feel a difference.

CW: 171
MCGW: 151

[thebellydancer69]

I can't stay on the Master Cleanse diet. My butt is pain because it puts you on the toilet all day. I know I am on break, but it hurts the stomach so bad. I am going back to restriction. I know it means eating, but I am buying an elliptical this week. I can do 2 hours on that. Whatever it takes.

CW: 174
1/29GW: 147

[thebellydancer69]

I did horribly toward the end of the day. I started out good only eatin 400 calories up until 6:30 and then hunger took over. I ate a whole package of crackers and each cracker was topped with CREAM CHEESE!!!! WTF? My laxative purges have shifted to compulsive over eating. I feel like I need help because I am at the point where nothing is fitting anymore. I might have to by BIGGER CLOTHES!!! I have to control myself everyday to keep from crying. It just seems like I am fighting a lost cause. Why can't I stop eating?

[thebellydancer69]

I am a bit better today. My money was processed late so I have to wait a little longer to get an elliptical. I did better today I made sure I burned more than I ate and I never went over a 1000. I did have a flashback to 2 years ago when I was in the 140's...I forgot that I did just restrict and join a gym. I had a different goal...to shrink my stomach. I didn't remember that until today. I thought I was just working out more and eating less. I am going to find my old ANA bible and see what was in there that I followed. This fuckin' Hawaii. One of the top 3 healthiest states in the nation, but I have never seen so many muffin tops and hanging over flab in my life. I can't live here. I am moving with my sister's family when she leaves in the summer. I can't believe I gained so much out here.

NYDW: 176
CW: 174.5
1/29 GW: 146

[TeddyMinx]

BellyDancer,

(((((HUGS!))))) Your weight struggles sound so like mine. I am either fasting or binging, never anything in between. I am always frustrated with my results (or lack of them), that I self-destruct.

I think maybe restricting would be a good exercise for both of us. See if we can eat with reservation, not totally starving or totally binging. Please don't give up. I'm right here with ya! PM me if you need to talk. Chin up, girl!!!

Blessings...

Minx

[thebellydancer69]

Awww...thanx Minx. I have been struggling with my body since I was 13 y o. I bought an elliptical today to help out with things. I spent the rest of my refund on it. I have to take the money I just put in my savings and put it back into my checking. I have a bill that is 11 years old and I need to pay that off pronto. I can't say that I am sad about the money because I gave money to my mother, my sister and paid off Sprint to switch to T-mobile. No regrets. The only regret I have now is that I am still returning to the same job. Hopefully, I can switch up before the end of the term. If it takes too long I might end up there until I leave. That is a no-no. The only plus is that working is a good way to avoid eating. Sometimes I wish I was a size 5 again, but I think it is better to say that I just want people to be able to tell I am the little sister. I am physically bigger so people assume her kids are mine and I am older. The world is a jacked up place. My sister told me to buy the machine because it is better than joining a gym and I get to put it in my room. Also, I order the Adipex again since it worked so well when I only worked out 2x that month. It is in transit right now. I have totally avoided the idea of dating for now because I think dating has always side tracked me from my goals. I guess I need to focus on my weight and my graduate course and finding a new job.

[thebellydancer69]

The idea of going back to work today was overwhelming so I didn't call in at all. I just didn't show up. I will make up the excuse that I thought the E.A.'s were supposed to show up on the 12th with the students. I am not sure why, but I can't stand to be there. I don't know if its the kids, the staff, or the pay, but I need to move on. I have been there over a year and I don't think I can hack working with children in H.S. I might be in a bad mood or something. I ate a WHOLE BAG of pillsbury chocolate chip mini coookies. I did get a call about another job. It will be from now up until June, which is only a few weeks before me and my sister move to the mainland.
Anyway, I just put my elliptical together today. I also bought a thigh toner for my inner thighs. I have the bike and the weight bench downstairs with the free weights. To top off everything, my 90 count supply of Adipex is coming tomorrow. All I have to do is restrict.

[thebellydancer69]

Hello,
I am back from a long hiatus. I was gone because I was trying to lose weight the figure competitor way. It didn't work out. I am back again. I actually had an audio hallucination a female laughing me. I can blame my genes all I want to, but I keep restricting then once I drop a little weight, I binge and purge. I knew when I went back to work that I would have trouble losing. I haven't been taking the Adipex regularly either. I am not sure what is wrong with me but lately I can't stay up like I use to...I have been passing out around 10-11pm. That is a fairly normal time to sleep, but then I wake up around 4 am. WTF!?!? Now, all I can think about are my clothes I am running out of pants to wear. I guess I can do what I used to do before my sister comes back in April. She is helpful, but she eats like a skinny chick with high metabolism. Well I am here now. Gotta do what I do....

[Melinda]

Nice to see you back, bellydancer.

I know what you mean about clothes, I have a box of clothes in my parent's basement that haven't fit me for ages - I need to get into them again!

[NorwegienAngel<3]

Hi<3

Hope you are feeling great today honey

Keep your spirits high, and kcals low

Much love