peebee's journal

[peebee]

ok - here goes.

mon 6/11/06 - 1st day of 1st ever fast. i have to say i was mentally prepared for this so did quite well, by the end of the day the scales had gone down ! hurray !!!

tue 7/11/06 - 2nd day of fast. still feeling positive, weighed myself and scales have gone down again so thats good news. need to continue being positive - its all in the powere of the mind. will update more later this evening.

[peebee]

its 5pm uk time....ive been to the supermarket TWICE today (as im so absent minded there was stuff i forgot to get 1st time round!) and i cant tell you how hard it is being surrounded by all that damn food when you are trying to fast !!!!!

successfully put the shopping away and resisted any temptation to eat.

successfully made the childrens tea and still havent eaten but my god is it hard or what !!!!!

so ive come to update my journal as way of distraction and its working.

just a small problem though.....i was going to fast all week, thought it would be easier as my husband is working away but he texted me this afternoon to say that business plans have changed and hes on his way back home.

so, its not going to be that easy, doing this fast when hes around but i will think of something, believe me, i really need to do this before i go away for the weekend on 17th nov with 7 other slim and gorgeous women.

i have promised myself that i WILL NOT.....UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES be the fattest in the group......not this time (we all went away together same time last year and i was so ashamed of my body).

so girls, my cravings have passed and im still food free which is a bloody miracle !!!!!

should anyone read my journal.....hi ! i hope that you are happy and well.

[desirable dream]

Yay! Peebee has a journal!

Well done on resisting temptation so far, I've never fasted before but I'm getting severely tempted to.

I'm sure you will have an excellent girls weekend, and don't worry about your body. All your friends are probably busy worrying about their own bodies to look at yours, I'm sure. Just walk tall and act confident, and you'll have a great time.

How's the personal trainer and gym stuff going by the way?

Hope you have a nice evening

[peebee]

good evening miss desirable !

i never thought of setting up my own personal journal before but im glad i did, its helping me out a lot right now (and god do i need help!)

the personal trainer started last week. 1st session was more of an assessment really, he (tim) wanted to discuss my aims and objectives, look at what sort of weights i could lift etc etc.

so the real work started today (arrrggggh!).

isnt it sods law that day 2 into my 1st ever fast i have a personal training session !

so, tims top tips are...........

12 mins interval training on the treadmill (level 7 = walk at 7.5 km and run at 11 km) so you walk for a minute and run for a minute (6 mins of each).

he asks you 'on a scale of 1-10 how hard do you find this?'

as i found it ok(ish) hes gonna put me up to level 8 next week (stupid me !!!).

then on to a round of quite heavy weights (legpress, squats with 20kg on bar) and step ups holding 6kg weights in hands.

other weights....usual stuff (biceps/triceps/lat pull downs/chest press) but not many reps and only 1 set of each.

then onto the rower, interval training prog again (i found this v hard). only 8 mins but that was more than enough !!!!

after that, back to all the weights ive mentioned above.

ive explained to him that id just like to get fitter and look leaner....hopefully i will also loose weight in the process.

im just really fed up being 147......im not that fat and yet im not slim either so im hoping that this will work to motivate me and see results.

its feels a bit like going to 'fat class' but its 'fit class'.

hes going to be so pissed off with me if i start putting ON weight, it will be a really bad reflection on him and will do a lot of damage to his reputation so i can let myself or him down, now that im comitted.

i dont know how well i will get on, this combined with the fast, but hey, what the heck....in 4 a penny (so they say).

so.....god ive been ranting on a bit.....how are you ? hope youre a bit more settled at uni and getting on ok. i spent a lot of time reading your journal today.....i really wish you well....keep in touch xxx

[desirable dream]

Woah, sounds like he'll be working you hard! At least you have someone to keep you on track, it'll be motivation not to let him (and yourself) down

I've never been one for exercise, so swimming, riding and walking are about my limit

Things are okish, but haven't been feeling great recently. Just all of my stupid worries and doubts getting in the way, when I could be doing something constructive to solve them.

Thank you for reading my journal, its nice to know that you are talking to someone else rather than yourself all the time

[vicki]

Nice to see you started a journal. It can be really refreshing to let it all out somewhere and it is really encouraging when you help someone else in the process.

I wish you well on your exercising...as that is so NOT my thing. I know it should be, but ugh, I hate sweat...lol.

anywho, I am sending love, hugs, and blessing your way!! Have a lo-cal, guilt free day!! Vicki

[peebee]

thankyou vicki for words of encouragement xxx

so, its day 3 !

8/11/06 - scales gone down again, so thats good. went to the gym but didnt stay long as i had arranged to meet my girlfriend in town.

did some shopping and other stuff but she was hungry and wanted to go for lunch !!!!! arrrrghhhh !!!!! how do i get out of this one ?

anyway, i took her to a bagel bar where they make fab homemade soups so thats what i had - cauliflower soup and a coffee. she offered me half her bagel but i declined (wasnt that easy to do, they do such yummy food at this place).

anyway, day 3 and havent eaten anything 'solid', my willpower is still very strong so all things considered i think im doing ok.

hope all the others who are fasting right now are feeling great, hugs to you all xxx

[DollyAna]

hello hun,just dropping by to send some SKINNY vibes your way...

[peebee]

thanks dollybabe63 .....ditto to you too xxx

ive been really cold past couple of days and my husband has just told me 'its because youre not eating enough'.....well darling husband, for your info....its because im not eating at all !!!!! (lol).

i wonder if there is anyone else out there...mum/wife who has to go through what i do and still prepare food for the kids and their spouses while fasting ?

its been really weird, i was preparing the boys tea tonight and i was soooooo tempted to eat some salad. i know it wouldnt have killed me, but it would have broken my fast, so i 'stood away from the food'.

i consoled myself with a cup of 'highlights' hot chocolate (its that low call stuff) aprox 40 cals a cup and sat by the fire with the dog.

well, nearly another day of fasting over, its quite liberating. i never ever in my entire life thought that i would be able to do this and now that ive found that i can, its opened a whole different side of my personality that i never knew existed.

i feel silghtly euphoric (im not being big headed when i say this, im not a big headed kind of person) but i think that its possibly the 'high' that people talk about when the fasting thing kicks in.

its so amazing knowing that you can actually live and function so well whilst abstaining from food.

not sure how long i will continue for but i hope to carry on for another week, maybe 9 days....that will make it 12 days of fasting in total.

i wonder what the scales will say if i make it to day 12 ?

[DollyAna]

hey good luck chick,yeah it's bloody hard with hubby's around,i tend to eat steamed fish & salad or veg when my hubby's around but when he's working i fill up on endless cups of strong coffee & yeah the feeling of euphoria definetly kicks in on the days i don't eat...

[peebee]

fish,salad,veg.....i will be having dreams about food !

this is just a little note to me for future ref....

reasons i decided to fast

1. was 140 lbs in feb 2006.

2. became complacent and ballooned to 161 in aug 2006.

3. have a pair of designer jeans that i would love to wear (the button popped off even when i was 140lbs)...have never worn them (so annoying!!!).

4. have a girls weekend away and sharing a room with 'skinny maxine'.

5. im fed up with going to the gym and not seeing any results (i exercise but eat too much) so never loose any weight.

6. i dont want to feel fat at christmas when i go skiing with my sister (shes always been skinnier than me - plus we are going somewhere really chic and there will be lots of other lovely georgeous skinny women there - i will look like bag lady who ate all the pies !!! lol).

7. id really like to prove to myself that i can beat this obsession with food and over eating.

so.....

what have i been doing on my fast ?

drinking herbal tea (found some fennel tea in sainsburys, its supposed to supress the appetite).
drinking fruit tea.
drinking flavoured water.
drinking plain old tap water (when i go to the gym).
drinking low cal hot choc (40 cals).
drinking coffee.
had cauliflower soup (when out for lunch with girlfriend).
sniffing ginger biscuits !!!!!!! (LOL).
chew on sugar free gum.
havent eaten anything solid at all.

hopefully i can reflect back on this should i need to return to fasting in the future.

[peebee]

9/11/06 - day 4 of fast, still food free, scales went down (but not by much which is so disheartening when you havent eaten anything).

bit of a mixed day really. didnt want to get out of bed this morning, tired and my bones felt heavy (if that makes any sense).

anyway, gave myself a good talking to and got up, put gym kit on and got on with the day. didnt manage much at the gym (but what did i expect) then went to a retail park (had to collect a coat that id ordered for my son)....when i came to leave, couldnt find the bloody car !!! think my head has gone a bit today !

then the strangest thing happened....i needed to 'go to the loo' !!! so how does that work ? no food for 4 days and im still pooing !!!!

this evening, my husband announced that hed like us all to go out for lunch on sunday - bummer !!!! ive tried to put it off for a week or so, will have to see how that one goes. if we do go out, then it means that my fast will have only lasted 6 days and im not sure thats really long enough.

erm....what else ? well, like i said, still food free but i was thinking of all the things id like to eat when my fast has ended (thats me - obsessing about food again !).i just hope that i dont go on a mega binge, will have to see.

the most difficult time of day for me is when ive got to make the kids tea, as i make them food that id like to eat. instead, i make myself a low cal hot choc (40 cals), grab a magazine and leave the kitchen. it seems to take away the cravings and removes me from what could be a disasterous situation.

anyway, thats me done for now....day 5 awaits....hope everyone else is doing great xxx

[peebee]

ive been sat by the fire (trying to get warm - im always cold at this time of night) and ive been thinking.......

now that ive started this fast, i dont know how to stop.

if i continue this fast till the day that i go on my girls weekend, how will i cope ? theres going to be lots of food and wine plus sauna and steam rooms at the spa....i dont want to be ill while im in their company....dont want to spoil everyones weekend away.

maybe i could come off the fast the day before i go away and introduce myself back to food slowly. just not eat much while im away, say ive got an iffy tummy ? same goes for drinking wine etc.

also, ive got a personal training session on tuesday (fast day . wonder if i should eat some soup the day before to see me through or maybe have an energy drink ? its only my second session so i dont want to cancel, my trainer will think that ive given up at the 1st hurdle......oh god, what am i going to do ???????

[vicki]

be warned this post is gross, but you brought up the subject of bowel habits...so I thought you'd like to know the facts:

The average person's colon is 21 feet long and several inches in diameter and can dilate to accomodate...so you can imagine that it can hold alot. On average at any given moment a person may be holding as much as
1-6 POUNDS OR MORE of *poo* in their body. Even if you go to the loo every day...it will not completely empty your bowel each time. We may still have stuff in our colon from as much as a week ago. So even though you are fasting your body is getting rid of stuff from several days ago. The more days you fast the longer your body has to completely clean itself out. If you can take a psyllium husk supplement that will provide enough fiber to clean you out faster. The Indians (or so I've been told) discovered this and they believe that to keep a person's system clean one needs to have at least 3 bowel movements EACH DAY. They recommend psyllium husks on a daily basis as these are not stimulant laxatives...so they cannot damage your colon and they will keep things moving. They also recommend a routine colon cleanse every few weeks to completely clean things out and detox your body. (A water fast of several days would probably do the same thing and be much more healthier than a stimulant colon cleanse)

Well, sorry for the gross-ness of this info...but I thought you might find it interesting.

Keep up the great work on your fast...you are doing so much better than I ever could. Have an ultra skinny day!! Hugs, Vicki

[DollyAna]

hello hun,how's it going today? i'm sending lots of SKINNY vibes your way...