Max's Journal

[max]

Day 5: I just woke up... had nothing yesterday but maybe three cups of coffee and a gallon of water lol Today I weigh 109 Nothing huge, but im happy... new motivation! Im gunna go shopping today... maybe get a skim latte:) 10 more days to go

[AlicetheCamel]

Wow, you're so tiny!!! Well done so much
KEEP GOING!!!!! xxx

[max]

:p I feel the exact same . . .

8st1 ?? means? stone... what exactly is that?

good luck:>

[ThinMint06]

I can't wait for the day I can toss out the fat pants I'm going to get ther... somehow!!! I think you're amazing! Boys don't get it. It's not like anyone is DYING here. You're doing great! Don't worry!

[max]

well apparently m bf thinks im dying... because he said either i see a dr or he breaks up with me....ive pretty much ruined everything. i tried so hard to explain how I cant go back to being a frickn ulgy person... well to be completely honest... I still feel ugly. I feel like a smaller version of ugly. and i dont know how to tell him that... ad when i do he takes it personally. Im about to loose the love of my life(seriously) and is it worth being a size 3? i dunnoooo.... i fell beter than ever, but yet i feel so alone:( people are ditching me left and rigfht i feel like such shit. i dont know what to do..... gah

Its like.... lose all the work youve done and miss being with the most amazing man of your entire life.... or feel good thin? what should I do?????

[DollyAna]

blimey i wish i could give you some advice babe but it's so hard for us ED people being in relationships,because ultimately we cannot give up our ED's;we're trapped like prisoners...

[max]

Day 6: Well its 6 pm. I just woke up... yeah that's sad. I drank about 8+ beers last night and I dont really remember much of it. Whoever said beer makes you fat.... well, maybe it's true... but it keeps me away from food. AND i weighed myself this morning.. 107 lbs. that 3 pounds lighter>.> so... is that a fib about beer? Maybe i burnt all the calories trying to find my bed last night lol

[max]

DAY 7: so far... had a skim latte . . . (officially not craving food anymore:P)

[DollyAna]

hello hun,congrats on the weight loss;i'm glad you're getting closer to your goal,whoo hoo...

[MissRed]

[desperatehousewife]

Youre doing great. I'm on day 2 of my fast and although I'm not actually craving food there is still a little alarm going off somewhere in my head which says I should eat I'm ignoring that voice though and concentrating my efforts on thinking about being thin.

[LUVPink]

I used to live in California! I just transferred schools though so now I'm in New York... I wonder if we were/are in the same areas... how funny!
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend... how tough. Eating Disorders always get in the way of relationships and its probably the worst part about them. If I didnt have my boyfriend I honestly do not know what I would do, he keeps me going! I hope yours will be more understanding to you and wont just abandon you... its so hard to give up and Eating Disorder and he should know that! Why are boys so clueless?.....

[max]

Day 8: having a latte... umm... nothing new:P 107

[zori]

Kudos to you max! It is difficult when you don't have the support from your loved one but don't worry, that is what we are here for! My hubby can never understand why I do what I do but he tries to be supportive. Right now I am fasting as well and only had water but there is that pesly little voice in my head that says 'Eat something'. But control is the name of the game!!!

Hopefully I'll get down to your weight (110 lbs) soon ...

[max]

My bf and I have been talking more about it... actually I spent all night writing the longest email of my life to try and explain it to him... how it feels... Surprisingly he said we would never give up on me... INFACT he said he'd die if anything happened me ... he's just frustrated that i lied about it. Which I understand... i guess in a long distant relationship it can be tough for him to know somethings up:/ He still asks what I ate all the time... and he said hes gunna do his very best to help. (even tho i dont want it :X ) But at least I still have him... when we hang out on the rare occasions and we go to dinner im gunna try my best to eat.. for him... but im still fasting until and inbetween. maybe ill get over it one day . . . who knows. sometimes when he asks what i ate i say nothing...(cause im not gunna lie).. and he'll say at least grab a handful of lettuce or something. at least he's not forcing/telling me to go get a 22oz steak:P

LUV: I actually moved from CA too:D How long you been with your bf?

ty for the support guys!!!

-maaaaaxx

ps--> side note... i live alone, but atm i have a friend living with me temp. I overheard her on the phone and she was telling someone to eat o.o so im thinking that someone she knows also suffers from ana(personally i suffer without it...) but I was thinking "oh chit... i gotta be pro now:X I actually go out and buy full meals to go with her... dirty up a fork... mush it around and make it look like i ate it. then i toss it when she doesnt look:X i hope she doesnt catch on:P