This is the beginning

[ashling]

Omg i soo love tis journal.
you have soo much willpower and i knw what ya mean bt the alchol.. i wud love to cut it out soo much wasted cals bvt i love it...
Lodsa love and luck.. x

[constance]

Where did you go, Optimistic?
If you have fallen off the wagon, get back on...
we are here to encourage you!
If you are going strong...encourage us!!

constance

[optimistic20]

i have clearly been away too long since i forgot how to post. i mistakenly posted a journal entry as a new topic, oops.

anyway today has been good. my skin has finally cleared up after a week and a half of disgusting blemishes. this makes me feel a lot happier and much more confident.

so far today:
oatmeal-100
gum-3
carrots-5
dressing-20 (not worth it, will not have again)

[constance]

Good to see you back.
Always room on the wagon!!!

constance

[optimistic20]

today (including dinner later tonight):
oatmeal-100
creamer-10
gum-3
beef broth-30
mushrooms-62

that makes it a little over 200 today. that's really good. that makes me happy. i just have to make sure i stick to my dinner plan (beef broth and mushrooms)

i may go to the gym today, or maybe take a long walk.

happy tuesday.

[optimistic20]

even though i am proud of myself for staying around 200 calories yesterday, and lost half a pound, i'm still dissappointed. i need to start losing a lot faster. i know the only way for this to happen is to go to the gym. (by the way, my mom said she's pay me 10 dollars for every extensive visit to the gym and 5 dollars for any long walks i take) so i'm most definitely going to have to go to the gym every single day, including today.

espresso with creamer: 20ish cals
pink lady apple: 80 cals

i think i'll eat some of my homeade chicken soup which i believe is around 180 calories, for my lunch/dinner.

i'm going to take some water pills because i'm afraid this beef broth and stuff has made me retain water, because it's so salty.

happy wednesday to you all.

(my friend is on day four of the master cleanse, and though i'm happy for her, i'm slightly jealous that she is doing better than i did, oh well.)

[thebellydancer69]

I liked reading your journal. Very inspirational. I am glad to see one of us got past the 190 mark. I like the way you are doing a mixture of things in addition to keeping busy. Hope to read more from you. Good luck and stay strong.

[optimistic20]

bellydancer, your comment could not have come any sooner.

it has been a tough two months for me. turning 21 made me lose some self control, eating and drinking way too much. i lost every ounce of portion control that i had. and i got lazy. then school got hectic and hard and then exams came, and i used it as an excuse to binge on candy and snack mixes. it was gross. i've gained about 9 pounds, that's too fucking much.

my trip to italy is coming up very fast, less than a month now. so i'll be starting a strict routine this saturday. i know i know i should start tomorrow, but i'm helping my mother throw a dinner party tomorrow night, so i'll be in the kitchen all evening and i'll be eating a delicious meal so i'm not going to start on a day on which i'll fail. i will however make sure to take some laxatives earlier in the day, as so to start afresh on saturday.

since i am back home from school now (meaning i don't do anything), and about to start taking care of myself again, expect multiple posts a day.

i hope all of y'all are well.
<3