Screaming in silence..

[omnifabulous]

omg I know! There have been so many times I have binged and I dont purge so I have to sit there in pain and wonder for like the next hour or 2 what the hell I was thinking cause it hurts soooo bad!!

[ashling]

I know i dont really understand cause i dont even enjoy eating it.
Its when ya have to try and sneak around your family to trow up your wondering why ya are being soo stupid...

God everyting is fucking up i dont know what to do anymore soo just want to go out on a drinking binge and smoke a fuck load of blow..
I know its weak but just felling soo down at the moment...

We starve we restrcit we do whatever is neccesary so we can have a better life..........But when do we start living................

[max]

ash

I feel your pain. I'm totally in the - i wanna go drink a crapload boat too. Don't give up !

maybe go out to a movie or something ?

[ashling]

Yeah max think if ya lived near by wud be calling round regaluly with a few botlles of vodka.. Well drank last nyt with was hoping that a certain person would be there bt he wasnt..Plus i wudnt have the balls to text him.

Feling pretty down today was planning on just chillaxing with my girls tnyt but they have went to as movie with there bfs and i knw that tomoorow they wil prob be with them to...Just felling a lil left out at the moment..
Like i dont want to sit here all weknd..They wont realy bther cuming to the clubs or anyting cause they dnt wnt to met boys and any time we all met up the boys are there too..Plus thne they nuting but bitch bt them..
Fuck me i wnat a boyfriend,,, LMAO...

[max]

pftttt boyfriends are overrated.
(im just bitter)

im also drunk!!! cheers!! LOL have a good night

[thebellydancer69]

Hey,

I feel like drinking every now and then, but if I do I try to limit it to dry white wine. It does less damage than hard liquor. However, talking about only drinking wine doesn't stop me from drinking the mango rum in the house. I think about having a man as well, but dangit every I start to date, I start to gain weight.

[ashling]

yeah max they do suck bt being drunk is alot of fun when ur drunk with sumun else..He he
I tink i f i had my chance i wud prob be runk all weknd..he he

Alloha thebellydancer69.
Yeah white wine is nice and vodka and rum and cider and beer and buckfast and anyting else..Fuck it i wull drink anting sounds bad as i am only 16.. he he..

Yeah i knw i dnt have that prob i worry bt them duming me so i loose wieght whn i am with sumun its when i am not its seems whats the point tryin so hard plus i hate boys watchingf me eat..Yuck..
Bt most of the time were all smoking blow and arguing over the last bag of crisps...gOD I HATE MUNCHIES..

I may actualy drink tnyt..he he if i gt dosh..and my mate agress..
Omg girls pady weknd next weknd..
One year on and still in the same state of mind..

[ashling]

I think my drink was spiked the other night..Even my mates are convinced i was.....
Dont worry nuting bad happened me but i went skitco at my mates and felt such fucking depression later on that night...
Just anther reason not to trust people...

[ashling]

For the last few days been in a binge fast purge cycle..
Ohhhhhhhh plus alot of alchol so not healthy...
Trying to get everyting back on track..But its hard..
Its nt even just my eating its everyitng else thats is going on..
I no longer want tigns to go bk to the way they were i want them to fit to my delisuion ideas and fanasies of how i want everyting to go for me..
I know that if i try hard enuf i will get it to work out and at this very moment in time its what i am focusing way to much time and worry on but i knw it will be worth it..Just more time needed...

Its time to stop yaping bout how shity my life is and make tings work..

[musicwithoutlimelight]

[ashling]

Tanks musicwithoutlimelight..
Thta was soo sweet made me feel loads beter today..
Ur right there no point lokking backwards only forwrds..

I knw realtionships dnt realy work out for me that long cause i find it hard leting other people in and trusting them..

But i love being in love... ..lol..
And cnt help crushing on a certain person..hehe

But yeah fellas are bollocks....
For sum of the following reasns..Any more wil be apericated..
1)They get drunk and twisted
2)They act macho when there not
3)They dont watch soaps so there nuting to talk bout
4)They think your jealous when ya bitch about other girls (when were clearly not )
5)They dont notice when we loose weigh or get a hair cut
6)They think our over excited screams and jumpy hug thing we do when we meet other girls we know is anoying
7)They gave us the pet name babe which reminds of the pig in that film
8)They cheat (yes i knw this applies to girls to but i am on a roll here)
9)They forget all special events
10)They never say we look good unless it unvoles a short skirt or alot of boob on show..

But they do give realy gud hugs...

[ashling]

Ok well today eating wise has gone great..
Just a few bites here and there..
The other nyt i had a dream taht my crush was with this realy thin girl i know and he kised her incredibley flat stomach and in the dream i was soo envious..
Its weird though cause i have heard him go on twice bt how two girls i knw are way to thin...
So weirdly at the mo i am obseesed by not wnating to have to much in my stomach as it was all bloated last week and was driving me mad so now just eating tiny bits and using my toning belt again..
Like cause i always wear realy emoish clothes like skinny jeans and half tops so gotta shrink....Got be thin..

[ashling]

And everytings all fucked up again..
Been hanging out wit my two exes most of the last two weeks..
Now i found out un of them has ben lying about going steady so the other un wudnt tink he was intrested in me even though he says he isnt and the other is asking me to get bk togather..
AND I AM SOO NOT INTRSTED IN THEM CAUSE THERE BOH LYING CUBTS WHO DONT DESERVE A SECOUND CHANCE AND NEVER EVER LISTNE TO ME EVER..LOL..
But its fuuny cause i can sit bk and laugh at the them..he he

I had like 10 vodkas and 3 shots on a empty stomach and didnt gt druk the other nyt..wohohohohohohoh

I tink my lil sis heard me purge last nt...
Realy determint to loose weight i havnt eaten today cause of sum fuckied up comment last nyt..This fella turned around and said why dnt i work at being more beautiful beacsue i wasnt bt had potential..What the fuck..
It was so embarsing and i knw why i fucking turned him down paddy nyt..We were all drunk last nyt when he said it bt he said he was going to make me a stronger person..Soo tanks hopefuly ya will..

[ashling]

I heard this forum is clsoing i ament sure what that means if everyting wil be gone bt i jsu wnted to say tanks to everyun,..
Ur suppost and advice has helped me soo much..
THere have been plenty of tyms i have felling like giving up that everyting was too hard bt yas always pulled me tru.
I hope all of yas achieve evetying yas wnt in life..
Loves yas..xxx

[omnifabulous]

aww i love doing that scream and jump when we run into girls we know. If someone doesnt like it psh they can deal with it man.