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Board.RingsWorld.com » Your message has been deleted successfully. » Members Journal

Hell Bent on being thin and perfect!!

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AlicetheCamel

Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 431

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:40 am Post subject: Note

MamaOf3 wrote:

I hate myself! I hate being anorexic! I am sick in the head. I have this wonderful family and here I am self destructing. I want to get better, I want to think healthy. I don't want to worry about my food consumption or my weight gain. I want to just live life like all the other normal people. I try to be better...but I only last 2-3 days at the most. WTF!!!!

*huggles* I am so sorry you feel like this - please, if I can ever do anything, say. Please don't feel alone in this. It may not be much of a consolation, but thousands of people have felt like this, tragic though it is. And thousands have recovered and, even if they have had their bad days, have had lots of wonderful days to make up for it. If you want it, and you use your obviously considerable will-power, I am sure you will be able to achieve it and enjoy a wonderful life with your family. Please don't feel alone; we are here to help and support you, be your goal to lose or gain weight, or just to stop worrying about food.

I hope tomorrow's better Smile

MamaOf3

Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 335

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:35 am Post subject:

Here is the most recent pic of me. Man, I look like I am on crack. All the dark circles.

emmariikka

Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 102
Location: Finland

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject:

Hey Mama, I've been lurking on you sometimes but I've never replied.. Now I have to 'cause it makes me feel bad reading that you feel down. I'm so sorry about the comments that you get about your weight, you defenitely don't deserve those. I'll hope that in time you just can ignore them. I know that it requires a good self-esteem but I hope that you'll achieve that and can really really be happy with your self! I have to say, you look awesome!!!! You don't look like you're on crac but I you do look a bit tired, in my opinion that is. And I don't feel good about that. I've noticed that you have so much going on, the gym, your hubby, your family ofcourse... I really hope that you sometimes take the time just for you and relax! You are doing so great and important job when takin care of your family, it can be so tough sometimes, let alone with difficult hubby..... Don't get me wrong, even if you looke a bit tired you are still gorgeus! I just can't stop admiring how long way you've come... It's good to see you smiling though ! Have a nice day tomorrow!

MamaOf3

Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 335

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:40 pm Post subject:

So basically I haven't been able to sleep for over 2mos. I get maybe 2hrs of sleep a night and its taking a big tole on me. My crankiness is getting worse and my family is getting tired of it. I am tired of it. I am exhausted! I am physically, emotionally, and mentally tired. I feel so fat and tired. I want to scream! My acid reflux has been horrible all day now and that makes it hard to live too. I think I am going to go on a 2wk fast... I just feel that I need it. I looked up insomnia and it says some causes can be anxiety, depression, restless leg syndrome.... etc. I do't know. I just want to feel better and be able to sleep. I want to be thin and perfect.... I just want to have a perfect life. I'm gonna cry.

AlicetheCamel

Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 431

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject:

Wow, you look so good... Please, I don't mean to be rude or tell you how to live your life, but please would you consider seeking "professional help", whatever form that might take? I just think that you have so much to live for. And you deserve to live that rather than having this horrible illness plague you and make you unhappy all the time. You deserve better. I really hope you feel more yourself when you next read this and that the insomnia has lessened. Have you tried just really relaxing as much as you can before bed? I find that a very warm, slow bath and this herbal "nighttime" tea helps me sleep when I have stress or food-related insomnia - maybe that would help you just suspend your thoughts long enough to get some rest. Thinking of you and wanting the best for you, x

candy

Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 686
Location: East coast, USA

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:22 am Post subject:

Hey lovey. I wish your life was perfect too. I'm very sad that you are sad and that I am not there to give you a hug. I only wish I could make it better! On the topic of insomnia, you do realize that it is a symptom of starvation, since back in the day your body wasn't about to let you sleep until you got food, and if that meant staying up for weeks on end until food was found, then so be it. I think it takes a long time to go away too, after the "starvation" goes away, which won't happen anytime soon... Remember, I love you! If there is anything I can do, I will do my best!

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