.Determined.

[Sombre Detune]

I hate this.

I'm 5'3. My Weight as of this morning was 107. Damn, I gained. I was around 102 recently...Thats 5 pounds...I'm really upset...But I guess I've found a way to help me stay away from food...I'm going to stay on campus more so I can avoid pigging out on stupid junk food. And I'm thriving on coffee right now, classes were boring so far...Essay turned in, dance made me feel like a fat cow with the instructor being so thin and the other girls in there are so much smaller than me...

But I AM in the cafeteria right now, no food, don't really want any because of my coffee w/ 6 packets of splanda. <3.

I'm a little nervous about my next class...Art History I test. The teacher gives really hard tests... And I have a bunch of art due tomorrow. Not happy. I guess It will keep me occupied and keep me from eating.

Oh. I found out recently that Polly Williams died. I really liked her from THIN...and I got really sad when I read the news.

I need to find a way to keep this whole obsession from my fiance. I'm sure he suspects something. He has already said that I don't eat enough...I guess the chew spit thing miiight work, but thats difficult with only he and I eating together...and he likes to eat at the same time...Throwing up might be even harder...I could try the whole "shower" thing...turn up some loud music...I don't know...

I just need to lose weight now!!

[Sombre Detune]

Well, I was going to be good today...
Yogurt - 60 cals.
Cereal - 115 cals.

Then lunch came...sushi...360 cals....

And then I puked...

So now I'm just depressed...

[lifes_a_struggle]

dont worry chin up - there is always tomorrow. looking at your stats you have come a long way. i am only 5ft 1 and its so annoying being short cause even if you only put on a couple of pounds it looks a whole lot mor. i am currently 108 and want to get down to 91 so our goals are much the same.

good luck

[Sombre Detune]

Thanks, I think we have near enough the same stats.

I've been binging recently and haven't had a change to purge, so I've just gined.

But I'm working on it, thanks for your kind words.

[Sombre Detune]

Well. I've decided to be good today. I feel a little more motivated to lose weight.

I've told my mum that I have a stomach bug and have been sick so I cab get away with eating less. I just need to keep my work and follow through with myself. My lunch today was:
2 cups of black tea - 0 cals.
1 cup chicken broth - 5 cals.
1 packet veggie crisps - 100 cals.

Total - 105 cals.

Haha, I'm in my psychology lecture in an auditorium, and I can smell some oatmeal cookie that someone in 1 row forward and 5 rows to my left...and I find it ridiculous that I can smell that. Haha.

[Sombre Detune]

Dang, I lost track of things...

My boyfriend has been making me eat...

No losses, but I'm hopping back on where I was before.
I'm going to do better. I hope. :/

Today I've just had a large black coffee.

I'm going to keep to liquids and probably if I need something close to food then I have a 5 cal. chicken broth that will hopefully keep me satisfied.

Either way I'll need it, I have an art project due for class tomorrow, and I need to do a lot of work on it. Maybe that will keep me distracted from food, haha.

I need more water.

I tried the salt water cleanse...

A while ago I just got projectile vomit...The other night it just brought memories from the last time and I got through 1 cup before feeling ill. So never mind.

I'll be good!

[Sombre Detune]

Hm, boyfriend made me eat a taco. :/

Mum made me eat some cereal and an egg.

Damn.

[Sombre Detune]

Had a pear this morning...because I've been suriving off of 2 hours sleep in 2 days, had an art project to finish for today, clean the car to drop off at the dealership for a service, and I'm going to a concert tonight...I don't know if I eat more...

Hm.

I dunno what to do...
Mum made me eat...I've probably had 300 cals so far.
I'm gonna try and keep it like that.

[Sombre Detune]

I woke up this morning and weighed myself.

I'm down to 104.5 from 108-ish.(yuck!)

I'm a little happier...but I'd rather be 98-ish pounds,

Oh, but I do have a little story.

I was going to donate to the RedCross yesterday because they had a shortage of donations from some snow storms that made the trucks stuck so they lost their supply because of time..

I went to donate, they asked how much I weighed...I said about 107.

They wouldn't let me...I guess thats a good sign of my weight?

So, I was walking out and the guys there were being all macho, and said "What, are you chickening out on us?" Laughing.

I told them I didnt weigh enough and so they told me to go eat a bunch at the cafeteria. Haha.

I walked outside and saw one of my friends and told him what happened, and some jerk across the road shouted "What, you don't weigh 120?!"

: / I dont think I look like I weigh 120!

Hah, so was complaining to my friend in a class right after that and a guy in front of me thought my friend was being a jerk and calling me fat. The guy glared at my friend and I had to quickly explain that it was just some jerk outside.

And here's where the weirdest thing happened. He said, "Well, good, i thought you weighed 98 pounds."

I really hope thats true and he wasn't trying to make me feel good about myself.

[Jennifer]

I can't wait for the day I'm too thin to do something again!!!!!!

have a great weekend honey
jen x x

[Sombre Detune]

It was a nice feeling being under weight for that, kind of annoying at the same time. Haha.

Thanks, hope your weekend was better than mine!

My fiance made me eat more than usual because he's getting worried about my weight...

I think I'm back around 108.

So I'm really restricting.
Only coffee today. I'm shaky, but I need this.

I have 2 art projects due tonight, so I guess I better get used to the coffee soon.

[Sombre Detune]

I'm going on a fruit and vegg fast. :/

My boyfriend is still in high school (18 and a senior, I'm not a cradle snatcher!! )

And I want to lose weight by then. Its th 12'th of next month... 16 days till then and I need to lose 8 pounds. I've lost one pound so far...so now its 7 pounds in 16 days.

Hopefully I can do it.