let's kick some ass!

[courage]

fuck fuck fuck.
NOT A GOOD START ON A JOURNAL!
but yeah, lost 5 lbs this week, but of course i screwed it up today. just weighed myself and i've gained it all. one inch from breaking down on the floor and starting the cutting. but i won't. i can't. so i'm starting a hardcore fast. i'm gonna fast untill i'm under 154 lbs (70 kg). which means i'm gonna fast untill i've lost 11 lbs. it's sounds hard, and it will be hard. but i have to! i really really have to. i'm thinking it'll take like 10-14 days. i've managed fasting a week before. so i should be able to do this. just gotta get through av 48 hours. that's when i normally slip or get really weak.

my plan for the fast is to drink at least 2 liters of water a day. and if i feel really bad (usually on the third morning) i'm allowed diet coke (it actually makes me feel better. felt like shit wednesday morning, the third morning of my fast and i drank some coke and i felt better).

so this is the plan for the next week or two.

[Chani]

hun, i really hope you can stay away from the cutting. i have all the confidence in the world that you can lose those 5 lbs before you even know it'!

[courage]

[omnifabulous]

You'll get control, I know it, Im trying to ease my way into fasting or eating very little everyday and Im on day two now but thats after 2 day binge... ugh.. I really wish you luck in this. I used to cut too I know how it feels I still do it somethings. I have to eat cause of my anti depressants but I only had 700 cals today and hopefully lower tomorrow (half that was liquid too I only ate one physical thing today) so if you want to be a buddy you can I would love that it would be really encouraging I feel guilty about everything anyway so I would hate to let my buddy down. If you want to tell me some ideas and if not thats cool. Ill be cheering for you.

[courage]

ugh.
last night was NOT fun.
well, it was untill like 5 am when i got this big freakin stomach ache. omg, i thought i was going to die. okey, maybe not but today i'm a drama queen. so from maybe 6.30 until 8 am i spent in the bathroom. this might be a little bit gross, but kinda shitted my guts out. seriously. i even threw up at one point. so NOT very funny. and before this started i weighed 165. before i went to bed at 8 am i weighed 161.5, hah that's 3,5 lbs.

so as painful and gross as it was, it was a damn good start on the fast. already 3,5 lbs down and i haven't even managed 24 hours.

so only 7,5 lbs left to lose on my fast-untill-i-lose-11-lbs-fast.

and i'm gonna be sure to drink alot of water today. dehydration is our enemy. and i bet mom won't make me eat today after this. if she does, she's the devil.

[courage]

60,5 this morning. only 6,5 lbs left. should be manageable in a week? one pound a day. i'm going to school now, but i really dont want to. but i've promised myself, and others so stop skipping class. this autumn i had like 70 hours absence. at least i'm off school at 1.


hopa ya'll have a good day

[courage]

i'm quitting my fast. my metabolism is seriously stuck. i use to lose like 1-2 lbs a day when fasting, now i'm barely losing a half. so i'm gonna start my low carb diet. just had my first low carb meal consisting boiled broccoli, chicken and tomatoes. i'm gonna eat breakfast tomorrow morning (that will be an experience, haven't done that for soooo long) and i'm thinking to have egg whites, i mean 5 egg whites are only 100 kcals - that's pretty nice i must say. i'm gonna have two meals a day, breakfast and dinner and ofcourse small portions. might have something in the middle of the day just to keep my metabolism going. does this sound like a good plan?

this is what i found on the internet that's in my interest
allowed: lettuce, celery, broccoli, cucumber, tomatoe, carots, water chestnut, chicken, salmon, egg whites, nuts, almonds

but i don't know about nuts and almonds (wich i so totally love love love). coz i mean, it's so high in calories. so maybe it isn't worth it? but i mean, if you're gonna binge... it's better to binge on almonds than on chocolate? even if it might be more kcals in almonds. or are all kcals alike? you know... calories as calories.

anything that's wrong? something to add?
anyone have suggestions on things to eat?
and does anyone know a good low carb smoothie to do?

[courage]

yay, 159 lbs (72,3 kg) today! i'm happy probably waterweight, but still. i though i'd gain due to the eating yesterday. coz i slipped a little bit last night. had two beers with a friend and lots of almonds. but i'm down 1,5 lbs. maybe was a good idea to quit the fast and start low carb? seems like my metabolism has kick started.

just had breakfast
4 eggwhites (80 kcals)
cucumber (20 kcals)
almonds (100 kcals)

totally: 200 kcals


gonna have some wokies tonight. will only be like 100 kcals, so i think i atleast will stay under 500 kcals today. that's gr8!

[courage]

i've had some dinner now:
3 egg whites (60 kcals)
stir-fried broccoli (30 kcals)
cucumber (20 kcals)
5 cocktail tomatoes (25 kcals)

totally: 135 kcals

not gonna eat anything more today. just some sugarfree gums. and i've been drinking lots of water today, 4 liters to be honest. so i'm happy with this day.

now i'm gonna study untill my eyes fall out.

[Jennifer]

Tomatoes and carrots are fairly high carb hun, i'd stick to broccoli and cauliflower. Salmon and chicken are good and maybe add a babybel light for a snack at lunch....keep your calcium up?? I wrap ham round a babybel and a lettuce leaf round them both - 65cals and it's deeelish

Also remember milk is quite high carb (especially skimmed milk) so if you need to add it to your coffee then add cream or take it balck.

Good luck you sound like you're doing a fantastic job
jen x x

[courage]

it' been fucking BAD since last time i wrote. but now i'm back on track again. 10 days until gran canaria, and i'm gonna fast untill then. there is no try, there is only do. that's my mantra.

so and lots and lots of water, and diet coke of course.
i'll write more tonight