I wish this room was used more.

[Melinda]

I want to talk to other people with COE. I'm going to try and stop binging tomorrow. No chocolate on the way home from work hidden in my bag, no bag of cookies in my nightstand, no treats under my bed. (I hide food from my flatmates, because I don't want them to see how much I eat. How sad is that?) I'm going to work, and go to the gym, and keep my mind busy and away from food. It makes me nervous to think that tomorrow night at this time I'll have no snack food around. I find it very comforting right now to know that there are two chocolate bars in my bag, after I finish this bowl of cereal. I don't know why.

And I find myself being jealous of the ana girls. Which is insane, because they are going through hell. I'm just amazed at their control.

I'm an adult, I should be able to eat like a normal person.

[I Want Candy]

Hi, Melinda

Hang in there. It's hard having COE. It's not considered to be cool or hip or a status symbol. When I was anorexic, the docs were slobbering , but when I got fat, they disappeared. People are hateful and want things to be easy.

I went all-raw vegetarian in mid-October and now have no treats or fattening foods in the house at all. Sometimes I panic and cry, knowing that my comfort foods are all gone.

I've also hidden things like foods and plates. It's shameful. I just don't understand why I do those things. No one has diagnosed me as COE, so I'm not sure what to do for myself. Going raw was the first step.

I think it's great that you go to the gym to work out. It's really important not to seperate yourself from others!

[Vendetta]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I check this forum every so often for signs of life, but I can't seem to find many very often. Add me at [ EMAIL REMOVED ] [ Click here to know why ] if you want.