This is the beginning

[optimistic20]

All these websites are telling me that 60 minutes of jumping jacks burns like 750 calories!!!

60 minutes of calories would be hella intense but totally worth the calories burned and ability to do it in th privacy of my own room.

exhaustion is already setting in. everything about today might possibly suck but at least i'll know that i'm going to eat very very little.

calorie count: 110.

[Hopelessly]

I just wanted to say that i think it kinda sucks about your mother. im not a big fan of parental intrusion into weightloss (think it tends to have the opposite effect) and i think this whole "lose weight or i'll punish you" attitude sucks. i dunno maybe u think differently but hearing things like that gets my back up since i've been there and didnt like it.

[constance]

[optimistic20]

[optimistic20]

hunger set in very quicly this morning, so thank god i was in painting and not at home. i grabbed a diet soda and dealt with it. we started self-portraits today and i was so pissed. i don't want to look at myself for three hours straight, it's torture!

i just had a mini-lunch: tomato juice and chicken tender soup, 90 calories.

that brings today's total to 200 calories. go me!

[optimistic20]

i'm really hoping i can change my ticker tomorrow morning. that would be a wonderful start to wednesday.

anyway, so 60 minutes of jumping jacks is impossible for me right now. it sounds gross but the chest and belly can't handle the intense jumping around. i ended up doing about 15 minutes of sweat breaking cardio exercises (i'd guess around 200 calories burned).

this will be my dinner:
egg whites-30
broccoli-25
onion-20
cheese-80

my total intake for the day is right around 370. i can't believe it, i mean the day is far from over, but there is no chance i'll break my restriction. my limit for today was 400 and i'm actually below it!

this may seem backward or very narcissistic but sometimes i find myself looking at the few flattering pictures of myself as motivation to keep going.

i plan on going to bed early so hopefully i'll get my energy back.

stay strong everyone!

[Jennifer]

hows it going today?? Hope you managed to lose and change your ticker If not hey ho, tomorrow is another day

Stay strong
Jen x x x

[optimistic20]

hey jennifer, i just woke woke up and the day is already off to a wonderful start. i lost one pound!!

i know one pound is a lot but it sounds like so little. i guess i'm doing the 2468 thing? don't know much about it, so i'm going to look it up after i'm done updating.

my day is pretty packed so i won't be tempted to be bored and hungry.

i'm sore from the lunges i did yesterday, but i love it. feeling sore means i actually did something worth while.

i went to bed hungry and woke up hungry, it was a nice feeling.
i think i might go buy some tea that'll help me sleep.

obviously my cup of coffee has me rambling on about randomness.

i'll be back here many times throughout the day to keep updating. so excited!

morning all!

edit: oh, i stumbled across the british band The Wombats last night, and i really like them, they're fun to dance around to. woo.

[optimistic20]

so far, so good, kinda. it's not even noon yet and i'm kind of scared about the rest of the day. i'm doing the 2468 thing and i'm going backwards, not intentional, that's just how it turned out. had like 700 calories on monday, 370 yesterday, and i'm doing 200 today.

so far today:
oatmeal-100 (i should have spread those calories out more, oh well)
fat free creamer- 20
gum-5?
coffee-3?
large iced green tea-0

all i want to do is lie on my bed and watch movies, that usually gets me throught the hunger pains. so thrilled to have 400 calories tomorrow.
crap late for class. ciao

[optimistic20]

okay, so seriously i have no life.
my lunch was stewed tomatos (around 45 calories)
my calorie total right now is 175.
i plan on having 1/2 cup of roasted red pepper, 10 calories, for dinner. which leaves me room for a couple more pieces of gum.
my legs hurt, and my eyes (weird).
if i'm up for it i'll do some cardio exercises, maybe 20 minutes today.
anyway, a nap will pass the time more quickly.
and i'll post again tomorrow morning, this journal aids my procrastination too much.

i really want to change my ticker again, that would be fab.

happy hump day!

[optimistic20]

i wasn't planning on updating again today but...

i am so excited, and weirdly energetic right now.

i'm at 189.5 and i haven't done anything today except barely eat. i am so pumped and thrilled.

just got back from the store where i bought like 50 bottles of water, more gum for my oral fixation, tea to hopefully help me sleep, and yogurt to try out (couldn't find any with calories lower than 80, hmph.)

that's it. g'night.

[optimistic20]

i lost 1.5 lb yesterday. i'm so excited. and i feel this burst of confidence.

i didn't exercise yesterday and i should have. i will exercise today though, since i plan on eating 400 calories.

my mind is playing all these tricks on me that 400 is a lot, simply because yesterday i had 200.

i thought i might share a weird weighing technique that i've developed over the past couple of months: exhaling to get all the air out of my lungs. i don't know if it makes you weigh less, but because i've done it so much, i have to do it. it's bizarre and slightly obsessive compulsive.

breakfast
oatmeal: 100
half a banana: 50
coffee: 0
fat free creamer: 10

[optimistic20]

eegh, not sure how i feel about yogurt. i can only handle a little bit of it, but that could be a good thing .

lunch:
2/3 serving immunity boost yogurt: about 54 calories.

i need to get my priorities straight. all i think about is not eating, eating, weighing myself, exercising, cooking, how i look. seriously, i mentally count my calories all the time, especially when i'm going to sleep, i count what i had that day and what i'll have the next day.

i'm not focusing enough on school. i need to get my shit together, basically. also, after i've lost more weight, i think i need to try to become slightly more social so i can test my strength around booze, but more importantly so people can see me thinner, and i can hear compliments. i also need some testosterone. my school is 60 percent female, so my classes have no guys basically, and i live with two girls.

i want to get into the 170s very soon like by the 15th. ugh, not sure if it can happen, but i'll try.

calories today: 214, yay!

[optimistic20]

wasted the day away, yet again. i'm such a procrastinator. the stress will definitely be on me tonight.

anyway, this is the rest of food consumption:
gum-5?
mustard- 10
cabbage-20
stewed tomatos-30
chicken-60
broccoli-24

that leaves me at 353, well under 400 today.

i also did some jumping jacks and the such.

i'm really worried, anxious, and interested to see what the scale says tomorrow and how my body has reacted to this 400/200/400 thing.

EDIT: right now, i am not sure if i'll go up to 600 calories tomorrow. it all depends on whether i weigh less tomorrow morning. i think i'll either go up to 600 or back down to 200. it all depends on that damned scale.

sweet dreams, night.

[optimistic20]

so really??, was my scale right when it just read 184.5? i'm skeptical, but happy at the same time.

have to go finish some stuff that's due in three hours.

i think i'm going to be keep the calories to 200 or 300 today, don't want to blow this awesome weightloss.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!