SweetSixteen's Journal

[SweetSixteen]

I've been visiting this site on and off for a few months I suppose. I haven't been posting or anything because... well, I've just been sitting here, gaining weight.

I've had eating problems for a few years now. Everytime I figure I get 'over' this I end up right back where I started. It makes me feel good eating as little as possible, which I don't really understand. I guess it's just that feeling of having little to no food in my stomach that gets me - makes me feel good for some reason.

Enough jibber jabber, I'll post my stats.

Height: 5'6
CW: 170 lbs (last time I weighed myself)
1GW: 140 lbs

So... here it goes!

[hoping29]

Heyy!
I just wanted to say good luck and hope you get to where you want to be!
It was also really brave to post your stats, I know how difficult it can be.
Love,
Hoping
x.

[SweetSixteen]

Thanks Hoping!
Good luck to you to!

[SweetSixteen]

I'm leaving on a few days holidays and I'm dreading it!

Holidays are always horrible for me. When I'm with my family I'm always so paranoid that they'll figure out that I'm restricting. Not that they won't ever figure it out but I don't want them clueing in right now. I guess I'm just afraid of them 'controling' my food intake.

I'm just going to try my best over the holiday and eat as healthy and as little as possible. I need to have hope and beleive in myself. I need this for me, no one else. In the end, it's up to me.

Hope everyone's enjoying their Holidays!

[ashling]

Dont wory huny we al dreed the hols
ya can always try twice as hared when ya gt bk.. heppy xmas.. xxx

[SweetSixteen]

Thanks ashling!

I actualy didn't do all that bad on my Holidays! I lost a bit of weight (last time I checked). I guess I should go weigh myself and update my signature.

[SweetSixteen]

I'm having a really good day today, which is a nice change. All I've eaten today is one slice of toast with jam and a spoonful of peanut butter (I was craving sugar). Later on I'll have to have dinner with my family; I'm hoping that it's a healthy meal but it'll probably end up being high in calories.

Last night I weighed 163 lbs - that's a 7 lb weight loss over my holidays. That sort of made me laugh, since I spent my holidays worrying about any weight gain.

I'll weigh myself again on Friday.


Hope everyone's having a good New Years!

[SweetSixteen]

Forget what I said about having a good day; I just binged. Not a major binge but let's just say that I'm over my calorie limit for the day now.

I just have to keep in mind that tomorrow is a new day!

[SweetSixteen]

Today is a much better day then yesterday. Today I have eaten an orange, 4 Crispy Minis (rice chips), one of those 100 cal chocolate bars, and a slice of ham. So, I'm guessing that that's about 700 cals. I might be off a little but I'm positive that it's under 1000 calories.

I feel very motivated today; I am looking forward to losing this weight. Even if it takes me a few months; I'm just looking forward to weighing less.

[SweetSixteen]

I'm craving chocolate right now! There's a dish of chocolate on the table and I'm so tempted to have one. Now, I know one chocolate isn't the end of the world but one usualy results in a binge. It's a cycle! I'm so glad that I've finaly figured that out.

Anyways, today is going well so far (except for this massive chocolate craving)! I haven't eaten that much but later today I'm having a meal with my family. So, that should be fun to say the least.

[Jennifer]

DONT GIVE IN!!!! Chocolate really isn't that great. Yeah, fair enough it tastes nice for about 10 seconds on your tongue but imagine that ball of guilt it turns into when you've swallowed it.

Stay strong, have a hot drink or something.

Jenx x x

[SweetSixteen]

Thanks Jennifer! I haven't given in yet.

I've come close to it but, as you said, the guilt that you feel afterwards isn't worth it. I'd much rather sit her and crave it then eat it and beat myself up afterwards!

[Jennifer]

And think how proud you'll be if you can go to bed having not given into some stupid craving.

Keep your chin up hunx x x

[SweetSixteen]

Yeah, not giving into the cravings will be worth it in the end!

[SweetSixteen]

I had dinner with my family tonight and they kept nagging me to have some potato chips with them while we watched tv. I had a little because they wouldn't leave me alone. I'm upset with myself but in a way I'm glad that I had a few, just as not to draw attention to my eating. Not that they'll suspect anything yet but once I lose a few more pounds I think they may get suspicious.

Anyways, weighed myself tonight after dinner; I was curious, since I haven't weighed myself since Monday. I weighed 165 lbs - up 2 lbs. Keep in mind that that's after eating and drinking though. So, I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and see what my weight is then.

I should be off to bed... before I end up filling this journal with senseless jabber.