it's so hard....

[ThinMint06]

i'm exhausted. boo. i've been down in the dumps lately. it's stupid but totally true. been missing people that have left my life. i've lost a lot of people. i hate that. and the people i have just don't compare. i wish i could have my ex back. sure we talk and are friends, but offfff course i want MORE bc i always want more more more more that's why i'm so fat fat fat fat FATTTTT
well, i'm hungry. going to have some total cereal. not really wanting to eat tho. maybe soup later? eh idk i'll have fruit. there we go. can't really mess up fruit. right???

[ThinMint06]

school is killing me. thanksgiving break starts at 4pm for me. i have that caffeine report due tonight by midnight but am almost done........ oh man i am so depressed lately and it's all over boys. why did my last boy break up w me? why didn't he want to be w me? what's wrong w meeeee? that's right, i'm a fatty.
my roomies don't like me. i have one cool one, the others don't want anything to do with me. it's so stupid bc i try. i what they want me to. if you saw my apt -- you'd seriously feel like you were in a hotel lobby. it's soooo clean, everything has a place, and everything is in it's place or else all hell breaks loose. okay so i've organized better.... yeah didn't help. so maybe if i just am quiet? yea.... that didn't help either. they just don't like me.
no one likes me. it's frustrating.
i have a 100 word voc quiz in about 2 hrs. UGGGG
i am drained. living off coffee today >_< i am!!! im going home and then it'll be "oh eat honey, eat eat eat...." bc my mom is a mom...
so there's that kid i went to high school with who's been talking to me and stuff and i think he has more than a crush on me.... i dont get it. he's not my type at all: unemployed, lives w mom, graduated late, not going to college, no goals, no car, no license!! and physically... no. i like tall thin nerdy boys. and he's rock and roll.
oy.
well idk what to do.
coffee is ready and voc quiz is almost here. i hate spanish.
<3 you all

[nickytml]

hang in there hun! u are doin so well with not eating lots or bad stuff - while im sucking!! boys are stupid but thats just life. the good one will come along, dont stress about it toooo much!! he's out there

try and enjoy your thanksgiving!
i hope your vocab thing went well

[ThinMint06]

I'm totally scatter brained, I'm all over the place. It's crazy. I want to be with my first bf. the one I loved completely and we've established a friendship. He and his gf are fighting and I am hoping God will let us get back together. Then the world would make sense again. Well, I'm hanging out with him soon and this means FAST!! I'm 12.5 hrs into the no-food fast. you can go 3 weeks without food, right?? well. I guess we'll see. No food. just coffee and water. and vitamins. <3

[ThinMint06]

i haven't been this sad in a while. oh i love that stupid boy. i'm afrad i'll never move on. it's been nearly 9 months. what's my DEAL!!! gah. well, I'm tired of it. i just want to reform my entire life. starting with my body. i need to do an overhaul on my body. then work on grades and all that..... and then try and work on the boy situation. i've never been single.... and although there are guys who like me ((my friend wanted to sleep with me the other night. gah i'm not that desperate! plus nothing would come of it)) but those guys aren't HIM!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
14 hrs strong

[ThinMint06]

33.5 hrs into the fast... more like crash....I'm allowing one piece of fruit and 1 serving of fat free milk a day. lots of coffee with little cream and no sugar. going to finish my hmwk before class. only 2 more spanish classes YES!!!

[LadyBird]

you're doing so well on the fast, sweetie!! keep it up!

[Hopelessly]

Oh good luck with the fast, you are so strong! i have nothing but respect for u as i cant fast to save my life! god heartbreak is the worst, i think its harder to get over someone when u still see them, its like a constant reminder of what you lost grr. big hugs pet

[ThinMint06]

doing ok gahhhhhhhhhhh i hate school. i hate everything actually. but not eating is helping.
50 hrs in.

[ThinMint06]

52.5 hrs in.

I want to give up already. i'm pathetic.... sipping coffee. I have to go to chem. gah. i really want to skip....... but of course i have exams coming up. everyone hates school right now. i swear i can't wait to be out of here!! i just want to sleep all day every day. just sleep. not move. not think. not really even be. idk. i'm just sad. the love i had for my first real boo is still there. i hurt. i miss him terribly. the pain isn't as bad as it was and i only cry sometimes but i def hurt. i miss him. him him. and to think he's not really him, it's tragic. i want to get smashed. just get drunk and lay still. gah. seriously........ i'm a wreck. i won't eat tho. Fuck food.

[musicwithoutlimelight]

I know what it's like to be so broken up about someone that it feels like you're slowly self-destructing, desperately trying to starve away all your emotions. God, do I know it all too well. I've been doing this for the past, oh, three years.
Unforunately, it doesn't work, not in the long run, but it helps me get by. Too bad we can't just get smashed and sit around and lament about life together! Lol...

Great job with the fast too! You've thinspired me to go a couple days without food as well!

[ThinMint06]

Thanks music!!!! you can do it!!! we'll be each other's support

58.5 hrs yay! well, i had a small meal and purged it allll ug it's sick. i havent purged in a while. it felt wonderful. as weird and sick as that sounds. but no more social eating, not worth it. i did get everything up and i had so little to start. so i think i'm fine.

Started fast at 145 AHHHHH!!!
Now 140 *phew* but still yikes

my girl's want to set me up w someone........... ummmmmm

we shall see

love you all!!

[ThinMint06]

82.5 hrs in
my head hurts. not a pain more like a pulse. whatev.
So I'm holding strong at 140 this morning. I am about to have some coffee. i had an orange so good. and am ready to tackle the day...... coffee coffee coffee gah

[LadyBird]

5 lbs lost already?! seriously so thinspiring...I've never fasted before, but this is definitely something to think about...I'm just worried I'll end up bingeing, but you are soooo strong. I'm so sorry you're hurting Have you spoken to your first boyfriend lately? What's going on with him?...sometimes after breakups it's easier to not talk, but other times that's even worse. take care.

[nickytml]

i cant believe how long you've lasted in your fast. i agree with ladybird it is thinspirational. i have never tried one either -in fear that yes i would binge hugeee

5 lbs lost - wow!!! i wish i could see 5 lbs disappear