I'm backkkk

[nickytml]

i dont know if anyone remembers me... but i was here from may-august. since coming back to school i havent been on here at all. I left at the end of august cause i was starting to go downhill and i didnt deserve to be here!! and now i am ready to get back on track.. i dont have a digital scale here at school but we do have a scale. so i wont be able to give accurate #'s.

but being here has helped me in the past - and its what i need again. I am back up to 140 ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and so depressed about it. my boyfriend's work party is at the end of november and i want to fit into my dress that i wore for my prom and as my moms maid of honor. so thats like 15 lbs.. it sucks being back at school cause i dont really have anywhere to exercise - nor do i have money for a gym membership. so i dont know how im gonna do this. plus being back at school is where my b.f lives - so we always eat dinner together. he knows I am trying to loose weight to fit into that dress - so if i can eat the bare minimum throughout the day than a small portion of dinner wit him hopefullllly the weight will come off

i am officially starting today! so far ive just had one egg.. thats all i plan on eating until i meet up with the b.f for dinner where i will eat minimal as possible

i have missed you guys all so much - and i hope to bring back the old nicky who did soo well!!

[ThinMint06]

hello dear,
i swear back to school means back to old ways--- not okay. but you and i both have gained-- and you and i both shall lose. hope your bf is understanding and supportive. you can fit into your dress by then, i'm sure. good luck dear!!!

[LadyBird]

Nicky!! I've missed you soooo much! This site just isn't the same without you, my best weight-loss buddy!

That's such motivation, the party at the end of November, you can totally lose 15 pounds by then! Over the summer you kept me so motivated and never let me get too down on myself, I hope I did the same for you! And here we are again, like the same stats all over again, heheh. So happy you're back, girl!

[nickytml]

so there is a bit of good news The scale said below 140 today i am not exactly sure how to tell with these damn non digital scales. but it looked between 136 and 138, to be honest i dont even know if this thing is accurate. arghhhh i want a digital scale but im soo broke i dont have $ for one ill say 138 to be safe.. but at least its not 140

thinmint - i totally agree with that statement. back to school = hell! it means being away from home so means i have to cook for myself, and it means eaten every meal wit the b.f so he knows if i dont eat or not. the b.f is totally understanding with me - he doesnt think i need to loose weight but he knows it bugs me a lot.

ladybird - my weight loss buddy i am soooo glad to be back, u have no idea!! its actually really crazy how much better ive felt about myself in the past 24 hours since coming back here. i just feel like i have motivation to loose weight now! you definetely were a HUGe help to me in the summer - and im glad i was the same. i think we can do this together again! it sucks that we are back at the same weight again, but we've done it before so we know its possible to do it again!


yesterday was shitty - but better than normal i do have to say. the b.f and i had fish and chips. he wanted to deep fry his fish i didnt - so i just fried mine with a bit of tempura batter on it (the box said it didnt have any fat in the batter) the b.f made deep fried onion rings.. while i cut up potatoes really thin to make them into home made fries. so much healthier than the b.f's dinner.

of course we smoked at night and watched americas next top model - i had boughten popsicles earlier in the nite in case i wanted to munch. they are only 35 calories and no fat. so i figured it was alrite. i did have a lollipop cause it was halloween. and there was a tinyyyy bit of chips left so i had to eat those :S but luckily there wasnt a lot left or i would of eaten more. bahhh and of course after all this my b.f was like u need to stop smokin.. just cause he knows i complain about my weight all the time, and obviously smoking pot doesnt help at all!!

but i did do a huge cleaning yesterday of our house here at school.. its like the only way i can get exercise - that and walking to and from class. i need to figure out a way to get soem exercise into my schedule without buying a gym membership

[LadyBird]

You can get a cheap set of digital scales if you're broke...mine were only $20, not bad at all!! You can get them anywhere, target, walmart, whatever. It's definitely worth it, knowing exactly what you weigh.

[nickytml]

Ill definetley have to look into that.. im goin to do it right now LOL I just want to be by in when no one is with me so they wont see. but i totally agree that its a great investment

so yesterday was a helllll day!!! i had an essay due today which i hadnt started.. i began it at like 1pm, went to the lib couldnt find any books to help - wasted 2 hours than decide id come on the net and research. but my compter decided to go on me. well just the power supply is all fried so i had to take it to a store to get it fixed.. and get data retreived off it for school because all my notes are on it! $115 later! this wasnt all done till like 9 at nite. so i finally begn my essay which is in science. which i have noooo idea about! finally finished it at 3:30 am
overall didnt eat too much yesterday.. an egg for breaky.. a few sunflower seeds (unsalted), a bit of chicken ceaser salad. Than at like 1am i had some meatballs.. small ones.. but BAD BAD BADDDD i was high and had the munchies. but i guess it could have been much worse. and i gues i was up extra late so i burned a few extra calories.

I walked to and from class.. and to and from the library. that was my exercise for yesterday.

Today ive walked to and from class.. and eaten an egg thats it.

dreading this weekend they are always bad. its my roomies bday so were all driNKIN! hopefully i can control myself not to drink too much or eat anything unhealthy.

still havent weighed myself today.. im just really not liking this whole non digital scale thing!! arghhhh it leaves me wondering. but i feel better than i have this previous week, so it must be makin some kind of change

[LadyBird]

Hey, how did your weekend go? Mine didn't go so well, but oh well. Looking forward to hearing from you!

[nickytml]

horrrrrrrrrrrrrible weekend! and the beginning of the week. BUT i had my last midterm today. I am sooooooooooooo happy to be done. I can finally relax and spend some time tryin to loose weight. the days are flying by and its about time i get movin!!!!

[LadyBird]

Congrats on being done with your midterms!! That is such a great relieving feeling! I'm sure you'll be able to focus on losing weight more now, like you said. I wanna lose this weight so bad it's killing me, I know you feel the same, and I know you can do it, you're so determined. Just remember the dress and the party!

[crystallinegreen]

Hey!

Wow, seems like everyone went a bit awol there, me too!
Im just back and trying so hard to make everything right again - Im on a wheat, dairy and gluten free diet to stop bloating and trying to stick to under 500 a day plus exercise...though i was thrown into recovery so im being watched..

So happy to see you back hun xxx

[nickytml]

finalllly my laptop is back so now i can go on here without ppl at the library peekin over my shoulder.. or my friends havin it showin up in there history.

so as for the past few days.. still not good. its sooo hard to get back into the swing of things. what i reallllly need to do is stop smoking weeed. it is the worstttttttttt situation ever whenever i do. i always end up munching out!! it needs to stop if i want to fit into this dress by the end of the month. and obviously i need to cut back on the drinking. me and the b.f had a few beers while watchin the hockey game the other day. its stuff like this that neeeds to stop! only drinkin one night on weekends.. so that allows me 3 times to drink till the party. and to be honest i am goin to try not smokin weed.. its gonna be tough! but i am ONLY allowing myself to do it i know i think i can control my munchies but nOt eating anything at al!

hey crystalline its nice to seee u on here tooo! i guess everyone did go a bit awol but we're back now and thats what matters

ladybird - darlin you are soo motivating, and i am soo happy that you believe in me sometimes thats all it takes.. that one person to beleive u and it gives u that extra lil push

i havent eaten Antyhing today and i hope to keep it that way till dinner with the b.f

[nickytml]

had to create a new ticket.. made a lil christmassy one to give me motivation for the xmas party that i need to wear that dress for

i neeeed to get a digital scale so i can reallly get an accurate #

[LadyBird]

that's great you have your laptop back, I would be so worried being on here in the library! getting back into the swing of things is really hard, especially when you smoke...the munchies are the worst! but you can overcome them and still have a good time. Try chewing on gum or drinking tons of water or diet coke or something. But you know you will get back on track, like you said it's crunch time!! 15 pounds, you can totally do this.

[nickytml]

managed to not eating anything all day till dinner with the b.f.. we had chicken and home made french fries (just cut up potatoes and seasoned them) i drank tons of water so i would be full! than we smoked.. and my roomies wanted to go to get ice cream - so of course me and my b.f went. i SHOULD have gotten frozen yogurt wit strawberries but nooo i got real ice banana flavored and peanut butter flavored with cookie dough mixed in. it was soooooo sweet - too sweet! i ate a bit of it but not much at all. I am soo happy thats what happened. even the tiny bit i ate made me feel gross. so i havent eaten anything else.


oh this journey is such a struggle! it is sooo hard to loose weight while at school. when im here im supposed to be focusing on school work. when do i ever get time for exercise?? how am i supposed to loose weight i am feelin so helpless right now

[nickytml]

i just remembered that i did eat something last nite.. i had a cookie my roomie gave me. but none the less that is pretty good considering i munch out hardcore usually!! this mornin ive already walked to and from my school because i had to print some lecture notes.. now i need to walk to main campus for my class than home. maybe ill head to the library later so that involves more walking i figure its the most exercise i am gettin right now so i might as well get as much in as possible!

ohh and im goin to try and go tanning today! i know having a tan makes you look a lot prettier. so maybe that will help boost my lack of self esteem right now

I think I am going to try eating just fruit next week.. i dunno if i can do it for dinners cause of the b.f. but it would be a nice thing to try

I just want to be skinny again.. i want all my clothes to fit.. its not fun havign to squeeze in pants with your fat hanging over. or not even being able to do up pants. it really is sooo depressing!! i want to be able to wear all my nice clothes.. and look nice in them! not having always to wear damn sweat pants and sweaters to cover up this fat