now i need a place to hide away

[masha]

hello quarrelsome!
Read your diary, and i just wanted to say hi and wish you luck...I'm from finland and all the alcohol drinking makes sense to me:Dyou're definately not a drunkie! I also wanted to say you have really cute clothes on that last pic of you ...and I LOVE that song from the knife<3

I'll keep thumbs up for you!
masha

[quarrelsome]

[quarrelsome]

hell yeah!
today have been pretty good in ana-way and pretty bad in family-way but who cares?

i have eaten a coctail tomatoe (oh no, 3 kcal! haha) and about 150-200 kcal cucumber which would be like 35-45 kcal
pretty good yeah
i've been drinkin' aloooot of water to keep me hydrated

i had this biiiiig fight with my dad as usual and i didn't even say anything before he started yelling and beeing a total nerd. i wanna like him, but i CANT. i seriously cant. he is accually one of the reasons why i'm depressed. and it sucks. i think we'll never straight things out between us, we're too different. he comments everything i do ffs. whet kind of tv i'm watching, what i'm wearing, what i eat (he accually tells me that i should stay away from fatty things, once he even said i looked fatter, he always says stuff like that).
he doesn't even matter when i cry myself to bed, he just comes into my room and says goodnight and when i'm not answering he gets mad. seriously, what's the problem with that guy?

[quarrelsome]

so, wednesday 8.56 am and i start school in like 45 minutes. wie.
i'm not even hungry, that's greaat
had some more cucumber yesterday, but nothing more

ermn, i don't have alot to write so i'll just go.. to have chemistry

[quarrelsome]

wednesday 4.52 pm

so today has kinda rocked, have eaten a cucumber stick, not very much calories haha. and been drinking diet coke ofcourse

not much to tell ehh.well.. short day of school, just chemistry lab (i study chemistry course II, organic chemistry and stuff.. my fav. ) and then short biology lession.

i dunno if i've told you, but i study mostly science aka math, chemistry, biology, environmental knowledge, english, swedish, psychology, sport and wellness (HAH!) and.. uhmn.. i think that's it. i used to study physics to but it suuucks so i didn't go on with course II, couldn't stand it.
it's pretty okay i guess.
i'm in my second year of high school, which would be compared to.. uhmn..the 11th year of school. (+ pre-school)
next year will be my last (exept from the university and stuff) and me and my friend (and ana buddy, known as courage at this forum) will you this compulsory (?) project, and we're young to study EDs from the view of biological complications. eh, double standards of morality, yes indeed. but i mean... still no.. cuz i never think that EDs is good for your body or mind, so if we can keep younger kids from getting into EDs and stuff, i think its good.
we're gonna have like lectures for senior level students about what happens in your body when you're on a fast or looses weight very quick.
i think it'll be very fun working with it, since we allready know pretty much everything i'm hoping for a high grade (:

well, gotta go and fake some dinner,
and then i'm going to my quitar class.
then home again, and clean my room ( ) and then it's greys anatomy

xoxo

[quarrelsome]

oh, yes, there is one thing i can tell you!
i'm going away this weekend to work everything paid (hotell, traveltickets, FOOD HAH) and then 1000 SEK as wages (1 SEK = 7,2 USD, count by yourself)
the bad thing: i have to eat with the rest of the group
the good thing: i wont be able to binge, and since i'm a vegetarian noone will care if i'm living on salad and cucumber

the job is cuz the society of visually handicapped youths is gonna have a meeting, and they need ppl to help them out sometimes. but that wont be much, i'll just say things like "watch the step" and stuff like that.
they pay for EVERYTHING, liek movie, go cart and alot of fun stuff

it's gonna be funnyyy

well, gotta go.

[perfectblue22]

Hey sorry about your dad. My dad and I didnt get along until recently.
I actually started being nicer to him. I knew he wouldnt change, and that his life was kind of a messs. I knew he tried to control his life through controling little things and little things other people do. Have you tried being not "you" when he's around? thats what i did. I started agreeing with him (eventhough i didnt agree in reality), I starte laughing at his jokes (even when they werent funn), listened to the "smart" morals he tried to teach me, agree on politics with him (eventhough I completely disagree in reality)
so basically when hes around i tell him what he wants to hear and i smile and nod
I know its kinda lame, but at least it keeps ww3 out of the house

[quarrelsome]

so today have been pretty good exept for my headache. well, it stoped when i finally got a painkiller from my chemistry teacher heh. the wellfare office just gave me half a pill and i dont enjoy argue to her so i just fine whatever. when my head still hurt like 2 hours later my friend talked me into getting one from my teacher whom we like more than that fucking school nurse, hehe.

i just ate, 2 dl of tomatosoup (about 130 kcal) and half a piece of bread. had to eat cuz i'm doing this work out thingy i told you about earlier i think. anyway. i'm still hungry and it rocks
though i think i'm gonna have som veggies to fill me upp. i dont wanna faint or anything

[quarrelsome]

i'm home
the weekend has been fantastic made some new freinds and had a really great time.
the only problem is the food, i've been eating aaaaall week long. i mean.. not like candy or something but there where meals all the time at restaruants. i only had the vegetarian stuff but still it's a lot of kcal!!! :O
but whatever, i mean... i couldn't do anything about it so i cant blame myself.
i'm gonna do a fast this week, even though i have biologytest at wednesday. it feel like.. yeah whatever, i will fail even if i eat.. hah, lame lame lame.

i dunno what to write now, but... i'll write tomorrow when i'm home (gotta keep be busy all day so i'm away from the kitchen!! )

xox

[quarrelsome]

today have been pretty awesome. well.. atleast good. no food and no hard classes. layed in the sun with some friends after school and then i went home to do some biology
i'm going to do some work out in one hour, so i'll be out of the house for like 2 hours. great!

i've got nothing to tell, think i'm gonna do some cucumber binge and maybe a cup of tomatosoup

adios

[quarrelsome]

today have been great, no food exept a cup of tomatosoup (60 kcal?) and alot of cucumber hehe but that stuff is on my allowed to eat list so that's good.
i was working out and everything went GREAT and it just felt so perfect (:

not much to tell eeh, i really should study but ... whatever. i have tomorrow and two hours before the test on wednesday so it's okay heh.

xoxo

[ThinMint06]

ick, studying!
I know... I am SO fed up with school.
Yay to you for your low cals!! I love cucumbers! MMMM
Keep going!!

[mary_kate_fan]

looks like ur trying really hard, and i think its important for us all to stick together because thats why we're all here to try and open our views because our friends don't understand about us!!

kepp up with the good work!!

[quarrelsome]

thank you <33 you ppl are like.. the best!

today have been okay.
had chemistry and it was okay and then i studied for like 90 minutes for my biology test, which went okay i think. everything is okay today.
i was hanging out with a friend today, he's really cuuuteee cuz he is like 20 centimetres taller than me and we look so funny together. naw, but he's great

went home and had half a portion of noodles (180 kcal) and some woked vegetables. also okay.

i've been playing quitar today and i'm gonna continue that now, and then it's greys anatomy!

[quarrelsome]

well, today sucked and yesterday sucked and everything sucks. it tired of feeling empty and torn apart.

i got my psyc-essay (eh?) back and i pretty much rocked cuz i got MVG (very well done) and that's the highest grade you can get but i accually dont care. it feels like.. whatever.. uh, i dunno. i dont care. bleh. i'm just talking shit now.

welcome to my pity party.

i just ate an egg and a piece of bread and a tomatoe and i feel really full but atleast i'm gonna go work out soon. that feels good.

i saw on of the nurses from the mental hospital thingy i was at last fall and i just died. she was pretty nice but it remindes me about last fall and how great i was at fasting and now i just feel shitty and bleh.

sorry for the bad mood.