New Year's Evolution

[Hopelessly]

Right well i'm back to 125lbs. failure. so figured i'd do the whole New Year's Resolution thing and start a new journal while i'm at it - wanna put the past behind me and start from here, from today.

[max]

woot!! I'm the first to say Hi in your new squeaky journal!!

You aren't a failure... failure means theres a finish line... and we have our lives to live... there is no finish line. You can do it! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and plod on... head straight, teeth grit... kick some frickn ass!!! Prove what u said above wrong!!! You know u can

[Hopelessly]

Thank you max, great to have your support Just looking at your stats, Wow!!!! That'll be my goal after 1 hait that magic 105

So realised a lot during the last week or so. Firstly, i wasnt strong enough to start my "evolution" on the 1st. Basically i was dreading going back to work on the 7th so much that couldnt do anything except sit around worrying, eating, smoking and not sleeping. I reaaaaaaally hate my job but that's another issue........

Secondly, i had to admit that my "i-dont-need-the-gym-i'll-exercise myself" plan was bullshit. I need the motivation of the gym to make me move in this freaking cold weather!

So anyway the 7th came around, had to go back to work and my plan kicked into action. Luckily despite my binging i didnt put up any weight in the extra week. And i joined this really kick-ass health club (so expensive but i figure its worth it.) Its got a great gym area, loads of classes and a swimming pool. Been to 2 spinning classes so far and worked my butt off!

Haven't lost any weight yet though which is pissing we off but i'm prob still working off the cals from last week lol. So early days but i'm determined to do this!

[Jennifer]

Keep it all up hun. It's shit when the scales dont move but it's worth it in the end You'll get there

Stay strong
Jen x x x

[why]

[Freja]

Hey hun!

Long time... How have you been? I was going to say I'm so happy you're still here, but obviously in a perfect world it would be better if we could all just learn to love ourselves the way we are... Anyway, it's still nice to 'see a familiar face', so to speak.

Good idea to start a new journal. Best of luck with your 'evolution'!

Take care,

Freja

[Hopelessly]

Yay Freja, great to hear from you!!! i'm gonna track down your journal so i can catch up on how you're doing

Just a short post to vent some of my frustration. Had another spin class yesterday and worked my ass off! when i came home i had a bit of jalfrezi that i made for dinner (bf ate most) and 5 grapes. So when i got on the scales this morning i was amazed to see that........... i still haven't lost a thing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

So in a foul humour now. stomach is rumbling, but i will not eat a thing until himself comes home and i have to make dinner. i just need to get a kickstart somehow, dunno where im going wrong

[Jennifer]

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo at not losing stupid fucking shitty scales.
Chani had a great idea in constance's journal though - have you measured yourself?? maybe you're secretly losing inches and its taking awhile for the scales to realise?!

Stay strong hun, the exercise will pay off shortly You're not going wrong, it wont happen overnihgt (god i wish it would!!)

You've got a great attitude towards it now, you know you're gonna take things slowly so DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP!

Jen x x x

[constance]

Stick with it like everyone is saying! I FINALLY went down this morning. One glorious pound! lol I was thrilled to see it finally blooming moved...downward!!

We all need to hear some cheers when the scales aren't moving. Best thing to do is to keep going and doing what is right. Your body cannot hold onto it forever!!!

constance

[Hopelessly]

Actually yeah Jennifer i should really have thought of getting a measuring tape. Cos hopefully when i get my muscles all gym-toned i should have smaller measurements even if its not reflected in the scales Still a long way off though!

*Snap* constance, i'm fiiiiiiiiiiinally down a pound too! halle-frikkin-julluah the scales moved! Feel a bit ungrateful though as all i couldthink was its not nearly enough. But it's a start and i will persevere.

Just realised its my bday in a few weeks too, would really like to be back to 8 1/2 stone then. Cos i bought this fab dress to wear last year - a marilyn monroe style halterneck only red with skulls on it - but in the end i didn't wear it cos it cut into my back. Would love to wear it this year. Something to aim for i guess.

[Jennifer]

Thats a great goal to aim for
Congrats on the lb hun (more than i've bloody lost !!!) Defo measure yourself if you're going to the gym, you may be pleasantly surprised

Just think of your gorgeous dress every time you wanna eat, you'll be in it in no time

Have a great weekend

Be good, stay strong
Jen x x x

[why]

[constance]

WOO HOO!!!! Celebrating with you, girl!!

constance

[Hopelessly]

What a time for the boards to go down, i've been having the worst few days of my life and didnt know where to turn.

On saturday night i was sitting down with my bf after watching a film when out of the blue he announced he wasnt happy. that he hadnt realised how unhappy he was until just before xmas and he thought it was too late to fix things.

This is the last thing in the world i expected to hear. we were together 7 years and i thought we were happy. mayb too happy, mayb it lead to contentment and i let my guard drop. needless to say i fled our flat at 3am that nite and drove the 2 1/2 hours to my parents. i'm just so shocked and devastated.

I've lost 6lbs since then which normally would have me jumping for joy but im just so numb and in shock that it doesnt matter, nothing does. shaking as i write this as i've just arrived back in the flat and im waiting for him to get home from work so we can talk. stomach pounding and so's my head. i dont want us to be over.

Please help, advice needed so badly right now. im so scared

[Jennifer]

Oh my god hun, that sounds really horrendous. Same thing hapened to me this time last year with my bf. Maybe the stress of xmas etc? We just talked for days and realised that although things weren't perfect we loved each other.

Ask him what it is that's making him unhappy - you've been together so long he must love you, there must be something that you can do.

I'm on here all day if you need random words of support or just someone to write crap to - you'll get a reply.

Stay strong hun

Hugs, Jen x x x