Kit's Journal

[omnifabulous]

just got back from the gym soooo glad I went! I ate around 1000 cals today and burned off like 300. I weighed myself at the gym and was .5 down from last week not great, but its better then being up or the same I guess. I wish I was making progress faster but oh well I will get there!! I think ill go to the gym tomorrow I keep telling people and probably writing on here (i always forget what I write) but yeah cant wait for it to start to show in like 2 or 3 weeks... Im not that big so it shouldnt take that long to start showing results right? I also got protien bars to help the process and i should be getting protein anyway.. I seriously cant wait to get down to my goal weight I think if I keep up with the gym and my meds that make me not want to eat I should be able to get there in 3 weeks. According to calories per hour it should take me about that long if I eat 1000 cals each day so maybe I will try to stay under that to do it faster.. I dont know I wish I had the self control to cut out carbs cause I know that would help alot. IM GOING TO DO THIS!!! I WILL BE MY GOAL WEIGHT IN 3-4 WEEKS HANDS DOWN. And going to the gym 3-5 times a day I should be looking FINE!. lol someone keep me to this.

[max]

wooooooowww 3-5 times A DAY?!!!!!! omg. You're nuts! man... Props to you!!! You can hurt yourself overdoing it - make sure you take at least one day for rest... and soothe yourself in the tub at night. Nothing worse than waking up to a charlie horse in your leg.... well except for stepping in dog crap.

What are the shoots like? You ever get stage fright?

Keep us updated!! Or rather, keep your journal updated so we can spy in on it!!! lol

have a good one:)

max!

[omnifabulous]

Oh by day I definently ment week. 3-5 times a week. If I had a car I might be able to pull off 3-5 times a day but I think think the gym people would be weirded out by me.

Lol stepping in dog crap.. but no I dont get nervous Im used to being in front of people/cameras, I did the rocky horror show on stage and had a solo and if I wanted it I had to get over stage fright, that was at age 17 and the whole cast had one dressing room so I also got over modesty pretty quickly. Not sure if thats a good or a bad thing.

I went to the gym again today and tanned for the first time in my life!! For 6 mins, it was relaxing and not as traumatizing as I thought I may do it more often. I had two protien bars (170 each) and water all day and I burned off atleast 200 at the gym and I am letting myself have a healthy choice dinner thing for dinner its 300 cals and a piece of bread prolly 150-200 sooo 900 ish? intake 200 outtake.. whatever.. I also got a job at a resterant that im really nervous about it I really dont want to do it but I dont want to get nagged either with the job situtaion.. oh well worse case senario I get fired and dont have to work there anymore.

[omnifabulous]

scale was down today about 111 thats pretty sweet. I start work today and I am so tired, but also excited about working and stuff esp at the mall, seriously I love working at malls. I might be out over the weekend so if I am not back I will be on sunday or monday, bye loves.

[omnifabulous]

binged sun and mon, doing good today, I learned the whole dance to "baby one more time" on friday so I got a good hour of aerobic workout. I need to go to the gym today. Im very stressed out for some reason and my gma has me house cleaning we only have like 3 rooms left which is good. Got a new video game.. sweet. Umm yeah I will update later I gues.

[omnifabulous]

I didnt eat much at all yesterday but i did drink too much im still groggy from it and its like 430 in the afternoon. I did a shoot with my bf and this girl named eve cause he needed it for his photog class. hope it turned out good. Umm still havent gone to the gym this week which I feel really shitty about, I need to call the resteraunt which is stressin me out. I need effin cigarettes dude. Umm Ive just been feelin down lately I dont know why. I wish i would lose this weight faster.

[omnifabulous]

I just spent the last two hours fixing this computer I am so proud of myself. I always was a computer genius lol. not really just lucky i guess. Anyway yeah thats the reason ive been bad about updating. So far my cat is still missing, I only went to the gym once this week but im going tomorrow with my mom, and I have been ok with eating I guess. Pretty sure I havent gone over 1000 and def not 1500 the last 4 days. Im not doing great but its better than it could be my bmr is between 1400-1800 cause i work out now and stay pretty on my feet cleaning so i mean its not like real fast but it will happen.

I miss my cat sooo much I hope he is ok...

I start work tonight at 6 very excited. Photoshoot tomorrow, then going home to the north, then work again sunday down here, and start the resturant job on monday. I need to make mad money to pay off my fines.. I wish i didnt have to pay those off..

[omnifabulous]

Omg!!! I love my new job its so freakin sweet! The girls there were so nice to me and I missed working in retail and talking to customers! I say the weirdest stuff to people it makes me laugh, I forgot I used to have an infectious laugh at work. Yeah really happy about that. I feel like I have worked there for months cause i was so comfortable with everything and the people. word up.

[omnifabulous]

Just checking in, work was good I started the diner yesterday I really liked it I work again today hopefully it wont be too stressful. Im being trained by someone else today so hopefully they will be cool, the guy yesterday was really nice. I binged yesterday ugh! Ive also been sleeping alot, started taking the ADD meds again, but not till 12 today so I will be up late tonight maybe I will use the bike here cause I havent been to the gym which I hate!! My cat is still missing I want everyone who reads this not to wish he will comeback and accept he is gone but to imagine him coming home and him being there, cause then the image you send to the universe will be my cat home, and not wishing my cat was home which in other words is that he isnt there. I hope that will work. I also wrote a letter in blood, wanted my bf to go to a haunted bar to bargain 5 years of my life to get him back, I tired to cut a hole im my left hand to its easier for the energy of spirits to go through me, but it didnt work cause cutting your palm hurts alot. I attribute this to a spiraling psychosis. I do not admit that it is wrong though. anyway check back later. peace.

[omnifabulous]

Just back from diner job it was stressing me out to think about going but I went Im proud of myself. I think I am taking tomorrow off cause i worked at the mall fri, shoot sat, mall sun, diner mon, tues, wed. Everyone at the diner comments about my weight and always ask me to eat and customers will talk about how i need to work there to get fattened up. I guess that makes me feel better but I feel like shit for not going to the gym ever! I have yet to go this week and I only went once lasts week. Im ruining my plan on becoming fit. I mean I always make these plans and give them logical time lines of when I should see results and then I sabotage myself. Although in my defense I have not been around much and I have also been very busy... anyways... leave some love ima post some of the shoot pics.

[constance]

Glad you love your new job!

Great pics...your legs are so thin!!

constance

[omnifabulous]

first pic, left side, elbow area. Yeah thats why you dont do drugs kids, I just noticed you can see my track scars, not marks but scars... then you look like a douche for eternity. Mmmk so I went out with Alyssa yesterday and we went up to PA and like we met up with my friend who was in town for the week cause of spring break and me and him have been like flirty before but nothing major and we chilled and shit and after he drove us back to our car like we hugged and as we pulled away we both stopped and looked at each other and he started makin out with me! He also kept sending me like texts im not going to say what they said but yeah dude. Oh and later I went to a party with Alyssa at our friend Amandas and I havent seen her since she moved back. Alex was there, I think I got so used to being around people who just use me, or totally alone that I forgot that people like me. I had like 3 people talking to me at once, and like I dont know. I feel infinently better now that I got to be social. Im also in a daze so Ill update better some day. I do not want to work today.

[omnifabulous]

ugh I have been like binging for like 3 days I hate it!!!! Stupid holidays. Anyways. Saturday was awesome cause I got to see my friend phil who is living about 4 hours away usually but he was in town for the holidays. He is very sweet to me and we have been constantly texting. I finally took my meds on time today so I will prolly stop binging but I think I am going to run out of them in a couple days and that sucks hardcore... STILL havent gone to the gym I plan on rectifying that this week. Atleast even when I dont go I try to do some push ups and stretch cause i like being flexible for the first time in my life. Seriously I could not touch my toes till this year. and Im almost 20. anyways there will prolly be better updates later this week. Peace yall!

Ps I dont know if anyone knows or cares but we are finally in aries, the best time of year (I am an aries, pisces moon, aries rising, aries mercury... oh yeha if you know who nancy spungen is everything i am aries she was pisces which is why I say Im her in a past life, aries is the next sign after pisces) and here is a pic of me in my easter costume cause life is too short not to do whatever i want and everyday is halloween)

[omnifabulous]

Ive decided for everyday that i eat carbs I am not allowed to post on the boards here cause I think that is a good incentive not to do it. And I will feel amazing when a week is over and I have a journal entry for everyday cause I stuck with it! Wish me luck everyone!

[omnifabulous]

well i cant figure out what isnt a carb that i want to eat so I just havent eaten today. Im lazy