emmeline

[emmeline.pop]

So here is my short story

I've had eating problems since i was like 10. I remember that all girls were so skinny and I was the only one who hit the puberty. But everything started really serious just this year.

Since february till june I've gone from 60 to 55kg and kept them.Then from July to september something in my head changed and I started eating raw.And believe me when you are like 2 weeks on a diet and dont binge you wont be tempted anymore.So I lost 6kg and was about 49kg. But then everyone around me was complaining about my weight that I look too skinny and not healthy..and everything cuz of that damn gap between legs(i have really wide hips). But then I was kinda told to recover..so I started eating and went back to 59kg..Some days ago I started again and I havent binged since.Now i weigh 56kg and feel so disgusting.

I miss so much those days when i was skinny..I felt good I wasnt ashamed of my body anymore I could wear every kind of clothes and looked good.

Well i wore a size 26 or 27 so I wasnt that much skinny.That would be S or 36 in europe

[emmeline.pop]

for today:
1 small apple
1 dry fig

So as you can see I am on raw.Cuz being raw was the only diet that really helped me with loosing weight and you can actually eat.I admit first two weeks you will feel empty like something is missing then you will be used at it.And when I started eating bad foods again my stomach couldnt handle it.So I must take pills. If i dont take them I throw up everything cuz i feel so sick

[emmeline.pop]

Yesterday my first meal was at 10pm.I prepared a bowl of cereal and a banana with youghurt..and I ate like 5spoons of it and it made me sick..I've almost throwed up everything..But i just took a pill and lay down.

For today:
1mandarin
3 bananas

Today I weighed a little over 55kg.And I measured myself too
thighs: 51.5cm
waist: 67cm
hips: 93cm
bust:85cm

my before measurments:
thigs:54cm
waist: 71cm
hips:95cm
bust:88cm

Well I think I've lost some...not much but I did.
my measurments at my skinniest:
thighs: 48cm
waist: 63cm
hips: 89cm (hate them)
bust:80cm

[emmeline.pop]

Yesterday I had a huge binge and I am to ashamed to say what the hell did I eat. Today I binged too..well in sql it goes just ok..But then when you come home at like 4pm you are starving.And if there isnt a piece of fruit you'll have to drink only...or give up.Soooo tomorrow I am going for real no more binging.I hate being fat

[thebellydancer69]

Hello Emmeline

I thought I was the only one who still checked this board. Anyway, don't feel bad about the binging. If you look at what I binged on for yesterday, you would want to throw up. Stay strong and try not to give up on yourself. Remember: it is better to be closer to 100 than 200 (like myself).

[emmeline.pop]

ooooh thanks you're so kind. Well I keep binging.so frustrated.anyway i believe in myself and i know that soon i will be back in those days when binging wasnt even tempting.