Carpe Diem

[nashinflash]

sounds great and you liked what you saw even in a stripped bikini. wooohooo the ultimate test. i guessed you passed it with flying colors.

[ThinMint06]

tina!!
ohhhh a new bikini!! woot woot!
you're going to be a knock out!
day 4... phew! this is getting easier at the very least. i think the hunger pangs are subsiding.
good luck my love!!
we're all cheering for you!!!
you're such a wonderful inspiration!! you keep me going!!!

[Tina]

DAY 4: no hunger whatsoever today, but I'm constantly freezing, as soon as I sit down I start shaking. Filling up on green tea to keep me warm.

I also get 'acid burns' in my throat. I can remember that from when I was all ana a few years ago. It's like, your stomach keeps producing acid, but there's no food there to neutralize it, so the acid starts to burn real bad. I guess you can compare the feeling to heart burn. Gonna buy som anti-acid tomorrow to get rid of it. Coffee seems to make it worse.

Ok, new development with the date: we spent last night together! It was very romantic!!! We didn't have sex.
After I posted yesterday, I watched TV for a while, then he suddenly called and asked if I wanted to see him. Since I wasn't going to work today (cause 17th is another national holiday ), I said yes. So he came over and we talked for two hours, I think. He ended up sleeping in my bed with me, it was really nice! We fooled around a little bit, he is a good kisser!!! We both wanted to do it, but then neither of us had any condoms, so we went to sleep instead. I actually fell asleep with him caressing my back. OHHHHH HEAVEN
Be still, my heart
Or I'll just scare him off

[nickytml]

awwww love is in the air hehe im just playin but i am so happy to hear that everything went so well!

and ur still goin wit ur fast - great job! u are going to see amazingg results i just know it

[nashinflash]

I get those acid burns all the time. It's like a tingling sensations that kind of washes up and fizzles in your thoart. glad someone else mentioned it. not a freak after all.

[Tina]

I don't know how to say this...
DAY 5: I broke the fast today. It was so stupid, my colleague bought Magnums (ice cream) for everyone at work. And I ate mine. That's probably 200 cals or something! Sorry.
Too depressed to write more. Just have to do better tomorrow.

[Tina]

DAY 6 (I guess):
Back on track. Skinnylatte and some applejuice today. Avoided sandwiches at my friend's just now, told her I wasn't feeling well.

Kind of sad today, partly cause of the ice cream yesterday, but also since I haven't heard much from the date, just a few 'cold' txts. I feel so stupid!!! Why did I let him in so soon, why do I always f*ck things up with boys? I don't know what happened, did I do something wrong???? Was it something I said? I thought we had the BEST time on wednesday. I thought we were going on a date tonight, but obviously not. I ALWAYS do this!!!
Feel worthless, ugly, fat and stupid. Wanna punish him, but moreso myself. Have decided not to write, call or text him. Just glad I didn't actually sleep with him like I wanted to.
The only good thing about this is that now I wanna loose weight so badly, I wanna run into him on the street and make him want me. I'll be tall and slender and he'll be biting my dust. ha ha....can't smile....yet.

OK, so the weigh-in is in 4 days. I need to focus. Think about how I'll feel when he sees me, skinny.
God, I'm pathetic.

[Tina]

Oh no....beer
Is that allowed when your on a fast?!?
If not, I guess I broke the fast again...but I haven't had any food today, and I didn't even go for mcd's when everybody else did.
The result is; I'm drunk....again...
I have had the best time tonight, and to think I was so sad just hours ago
-oh the bliss that alcohol is...
Date tomorrow, with new guy. I haven't had this much attention from boys in like...forever. Thinking it has to do with weightloss.
Gonna go to bed and dream of a skinny summer!!!

[Tina]

DAY 7:
A good day. Two cups of coffee for breakfast, then off to a cafe with friends. We ordered food, but then I got sick by smelling and seeing my plate. I couldn't eat and had to go to the bathroom. Now, the initial plan was to move the food around and claim to be sick, but the fact is that I actually was. It's all in my head, I know, I MADE myself wanna throw up. It's amazing how powerful the mind can be. Your body has no say in it whatsoever.
So I drank my dietcoke and spent 15 pounds on food I didn't eat. Weird....
Later I had a date, it was nice.
Work again tomorrow......
I wish for a day when skinnyTina wins.

[Freja]

Hi Tina!

Thanks for the post in my journal! Just thought I'd stop by and say hi. I'm impressed by your fasting, I usually start getting black-outs after about a day. Just be careful please, so you don't make yourself sick (sorry, I sound like a mother I know) and don't worry if you slip up, it'll only kick-start your metabolism again, so it's a good thing.

I guess it's spring in Norway now, I'm so jealous. I'm from Sweden, but I'm living in southern Australia, and it's getting really cold here. And there's no H&M! Anyway, take care, and good luck with the boy!

[nickytml]

wow i am still veryy impressed!!

i agree with Freja dont kick urself for any slip ups.. what u are doin is farrrrrr bettter than many of us here

[Tina]

Thanks girls, that means a lot to me.
DAY 8: no solids, just broth, skinnylatte and green tea+vitamins.
I guess they know at work now, but no-one has confronted me, so I really don't care.
I don't get blackouts, but I feel kind of weird, like people are looking at me. As if they can tell? Probably all in my head, I know.
Still have the stomach-acid problem. And my joints hurt a bit when I move. My belly is completely flat, and my hipbones are now really pointy. My ribs are starting to show, as are the chestbones. I feel like my skin has been stretched over my body, like I'm too tight! Hmmm
So, two days to go, it should be ok, I think I'm gonna make it. But I think a lot about the weight; what if I haven't lost? Well, I know I have lost some, but what if it's not a lot? I'll be so disappointed! I think about postponing it, untill the end of the month, maybe. I'm really scared to do it. I don't know.
Need to go to bed now.

[nashinflash]

doing a beautiful job you'll reach your goal in no time.

[Tina]

DAY 9:
Nearly there!!!! One day to go. I think about continuing the fast, why stop now when I'm doing so well? Or maybe start having like 200 cals a day. I mean, if I start eating again, I'll probably binge?....
Be back later.

[nickytml]

oh wow! ur almost there u can do it!!! im sure u have lost lots of weight - i just know it!!

maybe weigh urself tomorrow and if u have lost lots than keep it going?