After so long, My friendship with mia is over, isn't it?

[soon;to;be;thinspiration]

everything started last summer.
he asked me to go to the beach.
i wanted to.
i'd do anything for him.
except that.
i put on my bikini and i thought,
wow how hideous am i.
i started yelling and screaming at the mirror.
thats when i decided to change.

so over summer, i kept note of how i felt and what i ate,
it was good at first, i went down around 1-2 pounds a day.
BUT I'D PUT IT BACK ON?
so when school started, i'd actually went down 3-5 pounds.
but then i got busier,
more occupied with other things
and by the time november came,
i was back where i started, plus 2 more pounds.

i was becomming more and more depressed.
then to make things worse,
11 days before christmas,
my mother told me her nad my father were getting a divorce.
i acted like i didnt care.
but on the inside.
it was tearing me apart thinking of everything changing forever

so i found an outlet for my stress.
mia.
the more stressed i became about
weight,my family,my friends,and my boyfriend
the more me and mia became closer.

by the time january 5th had come around,
i'd lost 16 pounds.
imagine.
me, the little 5'1 girl whose been fat her whole life,
down to 103 pounds.
it wasnt my goal weight, but i felt i was getting alot closer to 90.

that was the only real joy comming into my life.
but at the same time,
i was becoming pale,
losing hair,
and near fainting.

then one day i had an appointment at the doctor.
i knew i'd get caught.
and thats exactly what happend

my potassium was the lowest any of the doctors had ever seen.
my heart rate difference was up to 58.
and my blood had so many low levels.
they admitted me into the hospital.
for 4 long weeks

i was watched while i ate
and after i ate
i had no privacy
and my family lost trust in me.
when i got out.
they had my weight back up to 114.
i was devistated but happy to be alive.
they said i would have died in 2 days if i didnt go to the hospital.

so,
that was 2 weeks ago that i was released.
my parents hid the scales,
took my measuring tape.
but i stilll have mirrors,
i have my eyes.
im not perfect
do i need to be?
i guess its an everlasting fight.
tonight was the first night that i hung out with mia again.
i didn't mean to.
but she promised better things.
but, i think we need more time apart,
i still want to live my life.
i'll become perfect some other way.


i know alot of you can probably relate.
private message me to talk if you want
any time
i know i need someone

[lovetodance]

hiya sorry u feel so bad, mia is deceptive - i think ur right u do need to spend more time apart - we all do coz its such a harmful thing to do to our bodies......yet we still do it! xxx