A tear(drop) for a tear

[Haunted]

Ive totally become a post whore LOL

[Briar]

[Haunted]

After about day 3 its just so easy. You dont even think about it anymore.

The first few days I was obsessing to the point where I didnt sleep.

I was up all night thinking about what I was going to do to shed some extra pounds.

I was not strictly on water and coffee though. I was drinking anything that was calorie free.

[Haunted]

So after reading some posts here I realized a few things about myself.

1. I am not skinny at all. Not in any way shape or form, and I hate the feeling of being fat but I have moments in which I genuinely believe I am sexy. Usually its right after some guy tells me Im sexy lol.

2. I hate being single and alone much more than being with someone and wondering if they are really atracted to me and wondering if people think the person I am with is crazy for being with a cow. Screw what people think I say!

3. I honestly believe one of the reasons my best friend and I are not together is because he is not attracted to me because I am fat. I also believe that is the reason he will not go anywhere with me. Before we used to go everywhere together and it was fun. Now he opts to stay home EVERY SINGLE TIME we hang out. We never go anywhere, never do anything. In part it is my fault because I put up with it. I kid myself by telling myself that he does it and it shouldnt matter because he just has that comfort level with me that allows me to be able to be the only one to come over and stay as long as I want. Well that's great and I love my best friend. He is just the greatest but enough is enough. I deserve to have some fun and run around wild just because I really want to.

4. Love will always be love, and sometimes it will make you happy and sometimes it will make you hurt. If you have real love and it accepts you how you are and strives to make you happy then life has blessed you. You should never have to convince love that you are the right one. You should not have to wait around and be made feel that you are not good enough for it. Love should be unconditional even when it is mad at you and you should always be able to count on it.

Enough is enough.

I am tired of waiting and setting everything else aside for chance.

Everytime I am ready to stand up and walk out on my own and give life a chance to show me something new I step back to wait, to hope, to bide my time and allow maybe if to work its way into my mind.

Im so tired of feeling unrequited, unreciprocated, and underappreciated without anyone knowing it.

I feel way too much, too hard and too deep to waste it away.

It is all such a waste to in the end mean nothing
absolutely nothing.

[Haunted]

Well I had an apple. I figure if I was going to eat anything else it might as well be a negative calorie food.

YAY me. I dont feel bad at all.

It is 11:35pm

Im waiting for someone to pick me up for a hangout/date.

I feel like I havent done this in forever.

I should not be nervous.

Whatever.

Goodnight journal!

[Briar]

You deserve to go out and have fun!!
Have you told your best friend how you feel about him?
Here is how I see the single life . . . yes your single woohoo, so am I, but by choice. I'm soooo tired of guys atm, they are all the same . . . selfish. Being single is not a bad thing, imho. You can still go out and have fun, and be wild and crazy and spontaneous, but you don’t need a guy to be whole? There’s this awesome song by Natasha Beddingfield called “Single” Here are the lyrics.

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

Anywho sry for the long post, I say live the single life and if your best friend is too blind or stupid to see how wonderful you are then I’ll come over and kick his butt? Hehe ok, hope the night goes well!!

[Haunted]

Have not been around. Ive been miserable and achy all over. I was totally taking way too many caffeine pills.

I have this terrible headache that I have no clue where it's coming from.

[AlicetheCamel]

Ergh, maybe it's the caffeine pills? Or maybe more sleep? Or it could just be stress, I guess. I really hope it clears up soon though.
Hey, whatever your friend thinks, I hope you know that some people really do appreciate you. Maybe you don't know them or whatever, but I am sure that there are a few people out there who think the absolute world of you and who love you like there's no tomorrow.
xxx

[DollyAna]

hey Haunted hang in there babe,just keep focused(easier said than done,i know) you're headaches will definetly be down to the caffeine pills,it's a well known side effect.take care hun.xx