A tear(drop) for a tear

[barbiesuck]

omg, you're doing soooo good!
i have problems with losing weight myself.
it always ends up with me taking something to eat later :/

[Haunted]

Thanks you guys.

Its weird but I always had issues with food and it all started in high school. I can tell you the exact time and day it started and why and through the years its been on and off.

My daughter is now 16 months old and for the past year I was just stuffing my face. I even joined the gym and have been a member for months and have never gone.

All I know is on Sunday I woke up and something just snapped. I was walking and just walked all day and everytime I felt hungry I just thought to myself, "eww I dont want to eat".

Thats how its been all week.

Years ago Around day 5 or 6 I would have been sick and weak and not able to get up. Preparing to end my fast with a salad or something.

Today is day 7 and I am not even sure I will end it today or tomorrow.

Im not sure how long is too long for a fast but If I can maintain it for another week I will.

Day by day. Week by week.

Yesterday I had a pita chip in my hands and I was going to eat it because I had sucha bad headache and I thought to myself, "I cant break the fast. Im fasting with other people. I cant let them down"

Honestly I dont even know who is fasting at this point or who is reading this but I feel bonded to some of the girls on this site. I think Im going in for another week.

[Haunted]

Im getting dressed to go see my best friend. He always notices any changes in me and always comments. He always says the right things.

Im wondering if he'll notice.

Incase it's not obvious, Im SO inlove with him!!!

[big_fat_sister]

hey girl, keep up the fast, you're doing great!!

and nyc does have alot of food...i used to live there, but in 6th grade i moved to ct. too bad, now im totally alone maybe you could go for a run/walk/jog/bike/skate in central park, the ramble was nice (i dunno, it might be bad now) and if you don't take $$ then you can't buy food!

[Haunted]

Sometimes even the perfect person is not so perfect. Sometimes the wrong thing is exactly what you need.

Today I saw my best friend and we were discussing my "new diet" since we sat together in a restaurant and I just had coffee.

He said he didnt understand the diet but whatever.

Then he said, "you are not fat, but you are a heavy girl and sometimes I worry when we are eating homefries in the morning that one day you'll die of a heart attack."

Shit if there was ever anything that was going to be my thinspo, THAT WAS IT!!!!!!

Man I was motivated before, but now its ON!!!!!

Day 7

still successful!!!!!!!

[baby belle]

[tealeaf]

me too!!
no better thinspo than that!!

God, you are being so strong!!
still going on with the fast and that with a baby around!

You are an inspiration!

[Haunted]

Today I am going to buy a scale so I can track my progress. I am going to weigh in today so I can get a current weight. Up until this point it has been just a guessing game.

Ive decided I am going to weigh in on Sunday mornings.

The little one is with her father so I think today I am going to pay a visit to my gym.

I have no clue what I am going to do there but I am going to sweat some shit off.

I bought Green Tea gum, caffeine pills and grapefruit pills yesterday. I had no sleep and had to work 12 hours all that while not eating.

I dont know if I burned anything off at all, but atleast I wasnt tired AT ALL.

I was wired!!!!

Well, here goes week 2.

[baby belle]

green tea gum?! where? i want to get me some of that!

[Haunted]

SO I NEEEEDDDD to be at my 1st goal weight by my birthday. NEEEEDDDD

I know being @ 175 doesnt seem like much of an accomplishment but last year I was a little over that and I remember my best friend taking me out. I was wearing this little black miniskirt with some fishnets and man I was smoking.

I know because he told me he wanted to take me home that night...lol

Naturally I am stuck in this large frame. Not to mention that I am very muscular. My hip bones start showing when I am aroung 150.

My ribs when I am around 160.

Its strange but the thought of being less than 130 on my body seems way too thin and who knows, when I get there it still may not be enough.

Anyway, I am so determined to be at my 1st goal weight and that gives me 2 months.

Shit I need to weigh myself.

I need to know my progress.

40lbs is a lot to do in two months.

I think I might need to re-evaluate my goals a little or the timeframe rather.

[Haunted]

Ok, so the goals and dates have been slightly modified.

I am thinking of buying ankle weights for when I am at work.

Maybe I will burn even more calories that way

[tealeaf]

good idea!
I've put my chair on swing, so I have to balance it with my butt and abs

[Haunted]

water and coffee today.

I have a terrible headache but that is ok.

A moment of pain
A bit of strain
If there is no gain
None of it is in vain

I would take a migraine for every lb if I could lose them all.

[littlekittentoes]

Ooohh ooohhh..when's your birthday? I always miss the birthdays 9or am late) So, happy-birthday-in-advance (even if it is two months away)

I hear ya on the thinspo from yur best friend...that kinda stuff either cuts deep and wounds, or cuts deep and causes some major motivation.

My boyfriend (who is over 6 feet and weighs like, who knows now, between 150-160 lbs I'm sure) was looking in the mirror at his back and goes "oh, I soooo need to lose some weight". I just about died on the spot.

He figured out his screw up real fast, but it still made me feel like crap.

Anyhow, good on you for rising to the occasion. Hang in there!

[Haunted]

LOL, October 26th. Ill be 26 this year.

I know my best friend didnt mean anything by what he said. He assumes I have a really thick skin and that nothing gets to me. That and that he was just showing concern but what he said both wounded me and motivated me.

Sometimes it does one thing sometimes it does another. Depends on my mood. He is not skinny or anything he is just right, and he eats like a cow, I mean you should see the amounts of food he puts in his mouth. Ridiculous amounts. For example he sits down and eats 2 huge porkchops, (fried of course) a whole take out plate of rice, an order of beans, about 20 pieces of fried sweet plaintains enough to feed like 4 normal people. Then he turns over to me and says something like, "oh Im so sleepy now" and goes right to sleep.

This is almost every day.

I cant imagine how he keeps his figure. He isnt very active.

God has a sense of humor I swear!