A Skinny Journey...

[nickytml]

definetely bring in stuff from home! try fruits - they are soo yummmy, and juicy and filling yet healthy!! and it will save u from buying than throwing out food. this way if u buy healthy stuff u dont feel that bad about eating it. and even if u buy something like grapes - u can slowly snack on them all day- it will constantly be giving u a metabolism boost. that is really what i do all day at work -i eat fruit, watermelon, grapes, cherries. obviously along with lots of water.. but its sooo yummy and filling yet satisfying

that is super gay about ur phone! phone companies are sooo stupid - hopefully the 4th time is the lucky charm haha good luck with it hun

[Skinny_Chick]

Lol Nicky, funny you should mention it... my grapes are in the fridge.

153 this morning Seems to be taking forever to fall off.
Dinner last night was..
Rice 60 calories
Mixed Vegetables 35

I think FH will be back out on thr road by the time I get out of work. If he's not, then he's having breakfast for dinner, so I can have puffed rice.

Messed up food already today and, it's only 10am.

Breakfast..
1/8 whole grain bagel 50 calories
1 piece sausage 50 calories
AND THEN I go to work and end up with
1 Iced Cappucino 150 (I'm not drinking the whole thing, just enough to get some caffiene)

200 calories already today, meaning I'm being super careful the rest of the day. FH should be gone by the time I get home. I'm going to the doctor at 3:30, the doctor is 45 minutes north of here, so I probably won't be home until 6:30 or 6:45.... just have cereal for dinner, he should get a load out at 6.................. AND he'll be gone for 10 days! Fast anyone??

More on my messed up day later, before I head off to the doctor.
*Skinny* morning to you all!!

[Skinny_Chick]

By the way just a side note... exchanged the phone last night. The Power Vision Internet STILL doesn't work. Fortunately, my boss has 10 work Nextel phones (the other half of Sprint) and he's got a really good friend who is a manager at the Sprint/Nextel store right around the corner from the office. My boss got ahold of him and he's going to look at my phone when he gets in this afternoon. I love having a connected boss, who makes sure everything is handled immediately. Love it. Maybe, just maybe TODAY will be the day that my phone doecides to work properly. A girl can hope right?!

My stomach is KILLING ME !! I didn't eat anything really terrible, maybe it's the caffiene. Nothing more besides water for me until it stops hurting though. UGH!

[Skinny_Chick]

Slacking off at the office today. Gee can anyone tell? Lol.

So, my stomach is KILLING ME still, I'm feeling like I'm going to be sick, and I've got a monster headache that the Motrin hasn't even touched. All I want to do is go home and go to bed. So, that's what I'm doing after the doctor. If FH is still home when I get home he's probably going to be annoyed that all I want to do is go to bed, but I'm feeling really terrible, and it seems to be getting worse by the hour.

Maybe it's the stress, stress of FH being home and feeding me to blimp size when I worked SO hard to get to where I was 7 months ago.

Stress that his sister is living in one of my bosses rental houses, and owes my boss almost $1000, so if she doesn't pay by tomorrow I'm going to have to file eviction paperwork on her (that bites, but there's NO plausible reason why 2 - his mom is living with his sister - grown adults who are making decent money are COMPLETELY UNABLE TO EVEN TRY TO PAY THE RENT!! They haven't brought us even A PORTION)

The stress of trying to plan a wedding (I can't even think about that one right now)

The stress of FH buying this new truck that he borrowed ALL that money to buy (then I find out that IT'S NOT a full size semi cab, it's a smaller one, not a queen size bed only a twin, no real storage space not even room for me to stand up) - I'm only 5'2 for god sakes - , you get that picture AND THE KICKER IT'S ACTUALLY USED!!! He was told that it was BRAND NEW, he did SO LITTLE looking into it before he bought it that HE DIDN'T EVEN FIND OUT THAT IT'S USED WTF??!! So ,he bought a USED truck for a bazillion $ it's $1600 down and $1600 a month PLUS after 5 years of paying the ungodly amount you can buy your used truck for another mere $15000 yes 15 thousand dollar payment. Does this sound a little CRAZY to anyone other than me? Because I think the entire situation makes me look a little closer at my relationship. If he's willing to just not look into this whole thing then buy just because he wants to. WTF? Oh the stress!!

**Skinny, Skinny** morning to you all!!
I'm around (OBVIOUSLY LOL)

[Skinny_Chick]

Well. Quickly giving up any dinner at all.

Lunch...
1/2 cup Chinese Fried Rice 150 calories.

Although, my boss informed me that my stomach hurt because I took Aleve on an empty stomach. Feels better now, but I'm sure my stomach will punish me in awhile.

More later after FH leaves.

*Skinny* afternoon!

[nickytml]

sounds like ur not havin the greatest day hun - hopefully ur stomache starts to feel better.

and hopefully the FH was gone so u didnt have to eat anything in front of him. or if u did - hopefully it was healthy or low cal

[Skinny_Chick]

Whew, back at the office. FH is still home, his doctor didn't fax his physical form tothe company like they were supposed to yesterday. (WTF) So, he can't work until later this morning. I'm not amused by that one at all. Geez do you think he needs a new doctor. He didn't even give him a physical, just filled out the form. (One more time here, WTF??)
So, yea he was home last night (why can't he just go out on the road for crying out loud!!) Dinner was Puffed Rice w/milk 100 calories, and Cup of Soup 60 calories. Not bad over all I suppose.

I didn't get a chance to get on the scale this morning. FH wouldn't exit the bathroom. So, I'm slightly annoyed by that.

I've got this issue lately.... it's been like 95 degrees here ALL WEEK. Everyone at the office seems to be hooked on Iced Cappucinos, yes that includes me. The bad part about it, they're 180 calories apiece. So, usually I just have half for a little caffiene, but still. I would totally be having my usual NonFat Sugar Free Vanilla Latte (68 calories) BUT IT'S FREAKING 95 degrees outside. Now, I've tried just the Iced Coffee, but it's so gross I totally can't bring myself to drink it. Hello cold, bitter coffee. UGH! So, maybe I should go after the Diet Mountain Dew again. Or maybe the Pepsi Jazz (Strawberries & Cream... totally addictive.) Something other than Ice Cappucinos... they're sucking up almost half of my calorie limit for the day, usually by 10am. Not a good situation.
Although my Ice Cappucino is done for the morning, about 4oz 60 calories. I don't have to kick myself quite so hard anymore.

With any luck by this afternoon FH will be on the road (yes, please go make some money and stop watching over my food) and I won't have to worry about eating today, because there won't be anyone there to care wether I do or not. FANTASTIC, that's what I'm used to. I hate the way my relationship is becoming. He seems to be always there and watching over me. I can't take that. It drives me INSANE. I work 50 hours a week and I get to go gome to 20 questions and wanting to know why I was 15 minutes late, or what I'm making for dinner (Hello I'm dead tired and I really don't care if he eats or not) or blah blah blah whatever. It's constant. And sometimes I really question wether his sticking to me like gle is really healthy?? Sometimes he seems really insecure, and REALLY needy. Not fun. He thinks that if he goes out and makes a bunch of money, that we'll automatically be happy. It's the lack of money but not only that that irritates me. I have my own money (thank god for that) he never sems to have any and the bills aren't paid. YIKES?! So, I just want him to go for a bit, I'm really tired of all of it, and not sure I can handle much more. He's supposed to be working right now.... I wonder did he NOT tell them that he needed the paper faxed?? So he could spend another night at home?? It's terrible that I wonder that but I do.

I should probably work since I at work lol. More in awhile.
**Skinny** Morning to you all!

[Skinny_Chick]

SWIFT KICK IN THE A$$! I really need a day trip out of the office.

4oz Ice Cappucino 60 calories
1 Asiago Cheese Bagel ( I'm just staring at it... maybe if I smell it long enough I won't think about eating it. )

1/8 Asiago cheese Bagel would translate into 75 calories. ( Yep that's like 4 bites. )

At this point I don't know who bought the bagels this morning, but I can't bring myself to eat it.

I do get a trip out today which is just prime... my bosses brother is here from Florida, I have to take him to the airport this afternoon, and drop someone else off after that. Therefore ZERO oppurtunities to have food given to me in the office. I love it, I need it for that matter.

<3 I AM STRONG, STRONGER THAN A BAGEL, A MILLION TIMES STRONGER THAT A BAGEL FOR THAT MATTER <3

[nickytml]

u are stronger than that bagel hun!! its soo not worth it

i feel u with the ice cappucino's hun - those things are soo damn good especialllly with a hazelnut shot in them mmmmmmm but yes sooo full of calories. i try to only have them like once a weekend if that. even yet i feel sooo bad for drinkin it.

that is too bad the FH still isnt gone - i cant believe they didnt fax that thing, but it does make u wonder did he do it on purpose? hopefully he smartens up and gets on the road soon enough so u can be on ur own to do ur own thing.

hopefully u beat that bagel and didnt eat it!! just like u said u are stronger

[candy]

How was the day out of the office? I love getting out, being stuck somewhere inside means food, which always sucks.

Hope FH is gone by now, I hate people watching my food, and clingy guys are sooo not fun!

You're stronger than the bagel, and anything else people offer you! You can do it!

[Skinny_Chick]

I desperately need to get back on track this morning. Yesterday was a TOTAL DISASTER I ended up going on a run with FH, it was local (I think I'll never do that again). We had multiple disasters in 1 trip.

A) We drove 2 hours into nowhere (supposedly the load was ready) we got there, it WASN'T READY. Shipping and Recieving is a wreck, we got there at 9:30 and they told us they wouldn't load until 11:30 (the time we were supposed to get home, so I could go to bed for work). So, disaster 1 we ended up with 2 hours to kill.

B) Which automatically leads to disaster 2. Honey we should stop for dinner, we never ate. Well, NOTHING is open in this tiny little town. So we ended up at Big Boy. WTF

C) Disaster 3, involves grilled cheese, coleslaw and soup. TERRIBLE!!
Thankfully I talked him OUT OF dessert. BLEH!

D) We go back to get the load (I'm dead tired and I have to work this morning) The load is ready at this point BUT they make us sit there until midnight before they actually load it. We FINALLY left for home at 12:15 we didn't get home until 2:00am. So I went to sleep for 4 lousy hours and got up at 6, to come to work.

I could barely drag my a$$ out of bed this morning, thankfully I'll probably make a coffee run it a bit. So, I'm totally going back on track this morning.

Breakfast:
1 Light Vanilla Yogurt 60 calories
1 *Aquafina* Sparkling Citrus 0 calories

More in a bit!!

[Skinny_Chick]

It was a short bit lol.

YIPPEE!!! Another road trip today . You would think that I get sick of them, but I don't, that's why I do what I do. This one should keep me gone for most of the afternoon (I think I can make it through the morning in the office)... where's my Hoodia, that always helps.

I'm off to figure out where I'm going today. *Skinny Skinny* Friday to you all!!!

[candy]

*determination* I'm sending it to you! Just get mad and hate the food, when you hate something you don't want to see it or think about it! Hate the fat, love the bones girl! You can do it!

Hope your day's going better and that your errands go well, since you won't be in the office. Has FH finally left, or is he still hanging around? I hope he's off your back now.

Skinny determined thoughts!

[Skinny_Chick]

*Sigh* Small victories today . The scale this morning stuck at 153.5 BUT FH is gone for a bit. He went to Kentucky last night, he'll be home for tomorrow afternoon and evening, then he goes an hour south of here at 11:30 pm to deliver, maybe he'll go somewhere right after that or maybe he come home again for a bit. Then, who knows where he's going. He'll be home for sure Friday night, for my daughter's birthday, then I think he's going back into service on Saturday, so hopefully he'll be gone for another week maybe a week and a half. I've got my daughter all weekend. My parents are on vacation...
( My daughter goes back and forth between my parents and I. It just works because I work almost 50 hours a week and my mom's a teacher so she gets her to school easier and what not, and her dad is nowhere to be found. So, mom and dad went on vacation and I got her for the weekend ).
So, I can be happy no one is force feeding me today. My daughter is only mildly concerned with what I eat. She had a bagel for breakfast, I had coffee. She went to a birthday party and had pizza for lunch, I had vegetables. I'll make her spaghetti for dinner, she won't care if I just have an ounce ( half a serving ).

The current total for the day....

Breakfast...
Coffee 0 calories

Lunch...
Mixed Vegetables 70 calories
13 Fruit candies 70 calories

Dinner will be...
Spaghetti 1oz 100 calories
Jello 10 calories

Now, there's a pretty good 250 calorie day, if I do say so myself. My point would be that when everyone leaves me the heck alone, and I'm left to my own devices I'm GREAT! But when everyone's in my way it BITES! So i'm taking advantage of the FH being gone thing as much as possible. Was going to fast today, but with my daughter here it's a little difficult lately. She doesn't notice when I eat a little, she notices when I don't eat at all. I'm off. To make spaghetti and watch High School Musical and finish the laundry ( my saturday nights are usually way more fun than that lol ).

*Skinny Skinny* Weekend to you all!!

[Skinny_Chick]

Feels pretty good this weekend. *Sigh* Just having no one to hang on my shoulder trying to feed me. FH is coming home about 1:00am. He'll take his 10 hours off here then leave again in the morning. So, I'll go to bed, get up and go to work, and by the time I get home he'll be gone again.
Today has been a pretty good day.

*Aquafina* a ton of it... 0 calories
1/2 Cup of Cocoa Puffs (my daughter wanted them) 60 calories
Pasta and Green beans (see below) 130 calories
THATS IT!!!

In reference to the pasta and green beans above... I was at the store yesterday. Walking down the juice isle (my daughter needed apple juice) well, toddler stuff is also down that isle... I have yet to find a frozen dinner that I can bring myself to eat. Those things are terrible!! So, I look down (yes at the toddler food next to the baby food) and I see these little toddler prepackaged meals. So, I start to read. They range between 110 and 150 calories apiece with 3.5 grams of fat. Not bad, not bad. It's a tenny entree and vegetable (it's like a 1/4 cup of vegetables not a huge amount) ... out of sheer curiousity I bought 2. And let me tell you those things are pretty good. Just a note... I liked them.

Now keep in mind here that i've been at my apartment with my daughter for 2 days. There's no scale in my apartment anymore (I brought it here, then proceeded to get a new one, should take the old one back there) Now this is totally unlike me but, I haven't been on the scale in 2 days. I'm on that scale every morning. It killed me having it here at FH's house. So, i did the unthinkable. I came back here tonight and got on the scale. I NEVER get on the scale at night NEVER!!!! Only in the morning. The last time i got on at night I about cried. Haven't done that since. No way no how.

So, the news is that at 11:00pm I weighed 153.5 which i'm hoping means I'll see some progress from my well behaved weekend tomorrow morning. *Crossing my fingers* I always weigh more at night. So maybe just maybe I'll have progress in the morning.

I'm off to attempt some sleep before FH calls to be let in. He lost his keys. This is not a good situation, he only had 1 car key, never had a copy made, and the keys contained his house key and a copy of my apartment keys. I'm going to have to change my locks now. Basically, i have to work in the morning and he'll be home really late. I'm going to have to wake up and let him in which will totally throw off the sleep, which will mess with me all day tomorrow YUCK! I'm going to try to get some sleep. Dreaming for progress tomorrow. *Skinny Skinny* Dreams to you all!